The Journey

Chapter 16

Elisha

The drive to Ben's house was a little strained. It was like Nick was too lost in his own thoughts to make conversation. Or we just basically ran out of things to talk about. I guessed it was obvious he wanted to find his brother today so that we could go back to our lives.

Our separate lives. Sighing inwardly, I cuddled Mittens in my arms and gazed out the window. If we found Newton today, it would mean the end of our journey, and significantly the end of our time together. He would go back to London and I would never see him again because I was no longer part of his family. The idea filled me with hurt and a longing so fierce I even contemplated getting back together with Newton just to be able to see Nick again! What a twisted thought. Nick was so different from Newton in many ways. He was more thoughtful, more of a gentleman in the way he always insisted on carrying my bag for me. And he was so sweet when he went all protective, and his sense of humor made me laugh so hard in a long time.

Why did I have to know all about this when he and I were so far apart? Fate was so cruel sometimes. I was together with Newton for seven years, yet in all those years, never did I pay any attention to Nick. Newton's passion was so overwhelming that it overshadowed everything else and eclipsed me from anything around me. We were too focused on each other that the world around us failed to draw our attention. That kind of love wasn't healthy at all. And now that I'd seen a glimmer of what might be with Nick, I realized I wanted this. I wanted us. Nick and I.

But he didn't feel the same way about me. Sure, he was attentive and sweet, but that was just how he was naturally. I was with the wrong McAllister brother all this time. It was a depressing thought.

"So what's waiting for you after this?" Nick asked conversationally.

I snapped out of my gloomy thoughts, "waiting?"

"Yeah, after we bring the prodigal brother home, what are you going to do?"

"Oh. The usual. Work, go home, feed Mittens and bathe him," I smiled. At least I had a pet now. Life wouldn't be too lonely. Maybe I'll just grow up to be an old maid with fourteen dogs. Yeah, that sounded appealing. There was no one else I wanted to be with than this man beside me, who unfortunately didn't want me back. "What about you?"

He shrugged, "the same. Work, London."

I added quietly, "and Val?"

He hesitated, like he was thinking real hard about it, then with a very serious look on his face, he nodded grimly, "and Val."

My heart shattered into a million pieces. He was probably realizing how much he missed her and how he wanted to get serious with her. Maybe he'll even propose when he gets back to London, afraid of being separated from her ever again. They'd get married in a hurry because Val wouldn't want him to slip away too, and they'd have gorgeous babies together in London and I'd never ever see him again. I didn't know why I was torturing myself this way, but it was my mind trying to make my heart see sense and stop thinking of him this way. He would never be mine. If only my heart would listen to my head.

We arrived in Ben's neighborhood, and I knew our time together was getting shorter with each mile. There was nothing I could do about it. I had to accept the inevitable. Taking a deep breath, I said, "almost there. It's the white house with the green door."

Nick pulled over on the front drive and cut off the engine, "let's get this over with."

With a sinking heart, I placed Mittens back into his carrier and followed Nick out of the car. Together we made our way to the front door and I rang the doorbell. A moment later, the door was opened by a petite woman with curly red hair and sparkling green eyes, her smile becoming wide when she saw me, "Eli! What a lovely surprise! Come in! And you are...?" She turned to Nick, her eyebrows raised.

"This is Nick, Newton's brother," I hastily added, lest she got any ideas. "Nick, this is Louise, Ben's wife."

Nick held out his hand to shake hers, "a pleasure to meet you, Louise."

Louise beamed, "the pleasure is all mine. Come in, you two. What brings you both out to our side of town?"

"Lou, we need to talk with Ben. Is he here?" I asked as we went into the living room.

"Of course. He's just out in the back, fixing the garage door. I'll get him for you. Make yourselves at home," she graciously said, walking out to the kitchen.

Nick looked around, smirking a little, "never thought I'd see the day when Benny would settle down like this and be a suburban dad."

I smiled, "actually, he was the first from the team to ever get married. Once he met Lou, it was his destiny. And Ben's the type of guy who won't let anything or anyone get in his way . He knows what he wants."

"So true," Nick agreed, finally taking a seat beside me. We heard two voices from the kitchen then Ben came rushing inside, his face in a grin as he grabbed Nick up in a big hug.

"Nicholas! Whoopee! It's been awhile, dawg! How have you been?" Ben boomed in his deep baritone, lifting Nick from the ground in his enthusiasm.

I had to bite my cheek to keep from laughing at Nick's obvious discomfort at being lifted. He was also a big man, but there was no way he could top Ben's girth. "I'm fine, Ben. How about you? Living the good life of a husband, eh?"

Ben guffawed so loud, the windows rattled, "better believe it, dawg! And loving every moment of it! Hey, Eli. Great to see you again."

"Hi, Ben," I smiled at him. "Where's Callie?" Callie was their one year old daughter.

"In her room still sleeping." He looked between the both of us, "so what can I do for you guys?"

Nick cleared his throat, "um, we were wondering if you knew where Newt is."

Ben's face clouded over immediately. He suddenly found the carpet so interesting, the way he was looking at it, I was beginning to think it had the solution to global warming, "uh...why do you ask?"

"He's been missing for awhile now and naturally we're all worried about him," Nick said drily. "Come on, Benny, if you know something, please tell us. We're almost going out of our minds by now."

Ben hesitated before he shook his head. Looking straight at me again, he said, "I don't think you'd like to know where he is at the moment."

I stared back at him blankly. Nick frowned, "and why not?"

"Because, dude," Ben sighed sadly and I could see the pity for me in his deep black eyes, "he's not alone."

And with that statement, with absolute certainty and another knifelike stab in my felt-like-a-pin cushion heart, I knew where Newton was.