Mistakes//JJ Outerbanks

24| "yes"

I couldn't get the thought of how I failed John B out of my mind.

Maybe if I could've helped or gone with them. If we took my boat instead of JJ's. If one thing could've happened differently and they survived.

If I didn't have a criminal record then maybe they would've believed me when I first tried to tell them what really happened.

Those are the thoughts that were running through my mind as I cried with the force of a person vomiting on all fours.

Kie dropped to my side and embraced JJ and I warmly with her own tears falling. It was painful to see her like this. To see all of us like this.
All I could do was embrace her and let the torrent of her tears soak through my shirt as she let mine do the same. I clenched my fists, not knowing whether to be mad or to give up hope altogether. I could hear silent screams in my mind, suffocating me with each breath I took. JJ ran his fingers through my hair, time, and time again, in an attempt to calm me. I felt shame and anger sticking to my mind like needles in a hey stack.

It was there but impossible to get out.

Kid moved away from us when her parents came under the tent. She let them embrace her while she cried and Pope's parents came in as well. I knew JJ's dad wasn't gonna come and neither would mind. I hope my brothers would come. I needed them more than anything else right now. I was never close with any of them but we shared the pain of losing our mom and that made us bonded for life.

I got JJ to stand up with me so we could hug Pope and Kie. Being in that group hug felt so wrong. It was a puzzle that was missing two pieces.

The officers let me go instead of taking me to jail. They'd call me back for interviews within the next week.

JJ and I went to John's house to stay. Neither one of us wanted to go home and John B's house was empty now.

I wore one of John's shirt for the night. It made me feel like he was still there with us and we were all just hanging out.

But he wasn't.

JJ was on the bed with the blanket up to his chest. His eyes were puffy and his hair was still damp from the rain. I put myself into his arms and sighed as his warmth was warming me up. The embrace was comforting and let me know we still had each other which is better than all of us dead.

"I need some water" I muttered to him and loosened his grip so I could move. I went into the kitchen and got a glass of water. I stared out the window at the dock while I drank my water. As much as I hated what the storm had done to John B and Sarah, it was still gorgeous. It reminded me of when I first saw him and Pope on the beach. I was on my dock and watched them surf in the waves. Then we saw Scooter's boat. I guess that was the start of everything. I jumped slightly when I felt someone touch my arm. I set m glass down and turned to see JJ inches away from me. I furrowed my eyebrows and was about to ask him what he was doing but he cut me off.

There wasn't a moment of hesitation. His mouth was on mine. He shuddered and there was a sound from the back of his throat, half growl, half moan. Little shivers of pleasure shot through me as he deepened the kiss, parting my lips. I stopped thinking. I pushed off the counter, sealing the tiny space between us, pressing against him, digging my fingers into his hair. It was soft, damp. I sparked alive, my heart warmed. It's been a while since we had a chance to do this. It made me happier and comforted me amazingly. Knowing I still had him with me to love and care about gave me something to be happy about.

His hands were on my hips, and he lifted me up as if I were made of air. My legs wrapped around his waist, and he put me on the counter. I let out a small laugh but our lips remained together. It was like we couldn't get enough of each other. This is something we needed right now. To feel love.

Lowering my hands, I tugged at his shirt, he broke apart long enough to pull it over his head and toss it aside. His hands slid around my head, pulling me back to his mouth. He carried me into the bedroom.

His hands were moving down, under my shirt, his fingers skimming over my skin, sending a tingle to every part of my body. My hands went down And then my shirt joined his on the floor. Skin against skin. His hummed, he had full of power. I ran my fingers down his chest, to the button on his jeans.

He pulled back momentarily, "are
you sure?"

"Yes"

The back of my legs hit the bed and we went down, a tangle of legs and hands moving, exploring. Our hips were pressed together and we moved against one another. His arms tightened around me, crushing me against his chest and his hands slipped between my legs. And I was swimming in sensations.

"So beautiful," he murmured against my swollen lips. And then he was kissing me again. The deep kind of kisses that left little room for thought. It made us forget about the hell our life was. There was only feeling and wanting. That was all. I pulled him closer, telling him what I wanted with my hands.

Our kisses slowed, filled with passion, not just lust. I was breathless and dazed, but my body wanted more than just kisses and touching and I knew he did, too. It was easy to get lost in him, lost in this connection between us. Our troubles disappeared. His hands were everywhere. As my hands ran over his chest in a teasing way he took my arms and held them above my head.

He was gentle but demanding, and it's nothing like I've ever experienced. I finally know why people describe kissing as melting, My body was on fire.

I have never wanted anyone like this before. Ever.