FREE FALLING ━━ p. dameron ✓

thirty eight

I land on Onderon a couple minutes before Poe. My mother waits for us at the front of the barn.

"Where's Poe?" She asks.

I attempt to push past her. She reaches out and grabs my arm.

"Where is he? Is he alright?"

"You're precious pilot is fine! We just got in a fight." I yell at her. I wipe at my eyes angrily even though I wasn't crying.

My mother lets me go like I've burned her. "I-I'm sorry Wren-"

"Don't pretend. It's fine." I say. I push past her and walk to my stall. BB-12 rolls beside me.

Are you ok? He asks me.

"I'm fine BB. Thanks for asking."

"Wren!" Someone yells. I sigh and square my shoulders. Why did he get here so fast?

"Wren!" Poe yells. He places a hand on my shoulder and spins me around. "Look, I can explain." He says.

"You were a spice runner?" I ask, taking a step backward. Poe's hand slides off my shoulder. Poe takes one step forward but then stops.

"I-yes." He says, scratching the back of his neck.

"Why didn't you tell me?" I whisper.

"It didn't seem important."

"That kind of is important Poe! What else do I not know about you? Is there anything else about your past that I should know?" I ask, my voice rising higher and higher.

"Wren. Come on. It's not that big of a deal. I'm sure there's plenty of things I don't know about-"

"The first time I picked up a gun was when I was six. I was seven when I killed my first person." I say stiffly.

"Wha-" Poe takes a step back.

"When I was 14, I joined my father on a smuggling trip. We were hauling illegal Resistance members. Pirates raided the Falcon. Nearly killed Dad and Chewie. I saved them by sacrificing the whole crew and the Resistance members. That's when Mom lost all trust in me. I had to beg her to even ride in the Falcon."

It's silent for a moment.

"Is that the sob story you wanted? I'm a selfish murderer." I say, crossing my arms. Poe looks taken aback.

"I'll see you around Poe." I say. I stalk off towards my stall. I don't care that I just yelled at him in front of everyone. He deserved it. I've nearly convinced myself by the time I collapse on my cot.

But then I remember. I'm wearing his jacket. And there's more strewn about my room. There's pieces of him everywhere.

A recent holopicture of the two of us hugging. Another of me leaning against his X-wing while he angrily yells at me. One of him, mom, and I. I was forced to take that picture and I didn't like it much then. I do now. In a corner, a pile of the jackets he's given me. And I was right. I have four, including the one I'm wearing now.

I rip off the jacket, leaving me in a tank top. I ball up the jacket in my hands, meaning to throw it in the corner. I can't bring myself to.

Instead, I curl myself around the article of clothing. I cry quietly. Force this hurts. How could he lie to me? After everything we've been through? After how much I've out into this relationship? And what do I get out of it? What I always get. Distrust. Lies.

BB-12 beeps sadly at me from the floor.

I stay curled around the jacket for the good part of an hour. Finally, I sit up and discard the jacket in a corner. It physically hurts me to do so.

As I'm pulling on a sweater, someone knocks on my stall door.

"Who is it?" I ask, quickly wiping at my eyes.

"Your mother called you to her office." Connix says, popping her head into my stall.

"Thanks." I nod at the young girl. Connix backs out quickly, leaving me alone again.

I let out a sniff before pulling myself together.

"Alright BB-12. Lets go see what mom wants."

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Mom appears to have called us all into her office. And by all, I mean me, Poe, Finn, and Rey. The four of us squish into the small room.

"I need the four of you to go on a mission for me." Mom says. She folds her hands behind her back.

"What kind of mission?" I ask.

"The First Order has been looking for a long lost Jedi. They're terrorizing cities to find them."

"Them?" Rey asks.

"Yes." Mom nods. "They are an old Jedi. They were alive when Anakin Skywalker was just a teenager."

All eyes in the room turn to me.

"What?" I ask. Nobody says anything. I shrug my shoulders.

"Why do we need to find them General?" Poe asks. He looks excited.

"As I said before, the First Order is destroying cities and breaking up families to find them. If we can bring them to the base, not only will the First Order stop, this Jedi could be an asset."

"Do we know anything about this Jedi?" I ask.

My mother shakes her head. "No. We've gotten multiple distress signals, and multiple accounts of what they look like."

I sigh and run a hand through my hair. This could be difficult.

"What I do know is where they are hiding out. Our intelligence points to the planet of Coruscant. And they are using the code name Fulcrum."

Everyone groans.

"Of course." Finn mumbles. "The one maze like planet."

"I'm sorry. But we need to find this Jedi now." Mom says. Everyone understands, but that doesn't make it anymore enjoyable.

"When do we leave?" Rey asks.

"As soon as possible." Leia says. We all nod our heads in unison. "Now go and prepare yourselves. Wren, stay after would you?"

Poe, Finn, and Rey all file out, the last two shooting me comforting glances.

"Yes Mom?" I say, once they're all out.

"I don't feel good sending only the four of you. You'll have no supervision and no adult."

"We'll have adults. BB-8 and BB-12." I say.

My mom suppresses a laugh. "I suppose so. Just watch over them all right?"

I nod. "Of course. And if you want to send an adult, send Chewie. We could always use an extra pilot."

My mom sighs, tapping her chin. "Alright. Take Chewie with you. But be careful."

She pulls me into a hug and places a kiss on the top of my head. I stand there, shocked.

After a minute, mom pulls away. "And fix things with Poe while you're at it."

Then she shooes me out of the office.

I stand in front of the door, paralyzed. My mother just hugged and kissed me?

Someone taps me in the shoulder urgently. I shake my head to clear the haze and catch sight of Finn.

"What's wrong?" I ask him nervously.

"Rose is awake." Is all he says.

And then I'm running.

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wowie all y'all smart ppl probably already know where this is going :)

word count: 1183