Start Again (C.T.H.)

Part 4

Despite my best efforts, Calum still seemed to read me like an open book.

"You're putting up that wall again, Y/N. I know it's been a while but I just want to talk."

I nodded softly and tried to smile but no matter what, I couldn't look him in the eye. I started playing with the rings on my fingers, a nervous habit from childhood I never seemed to be able to drop. Calum noticed and let out a breathy laugh.

"I owe you an explanation. I know you may not want to talk about it now but I've been wanting to for three years now."

He paused and looked deep in thought as if he was trying to find which combination of speeches he had planned to say for three years worked best together. The hard part was that he was right. I really didn't want to talk about this now. All through the many tears, I shed, meals that I had skipped, nights I lost sleep while staring at my empty phone screen, I had craved his explanation but now? Now it terrified me. I had just practically fallen back in love with him with a single smile and whatever his explanation would be just wouldn't be worth the pain it would cause me.

"Don't" I whispered. "You said it yourself, I don't want to talk about it right now. So let's just not."

Calum tried to protest but caught himself before frowning and nodding his head.

"So what do we talk about instead?" He questioned. A tiny smile found its way to my face as I responded. "Well first, you could explain to me why Calum Hood is in a goddamn suit. I mean I know I'm a fashion icon and hard to impress but seriously?"

Calum laughed as he looked down at my basic sundress that was my version of "dressing up" before he inspected his tailored dress pants. "As crazy as it seems, I have a job." My jaw dropped at his smug reply. Calum Hood did not work. Calum Hood played bass in a band. Calum Hood sat in the back of the classroom whispering promises of what he wanted to do to me in his car out in the parking lot during lunch. Calum Hood was arrested for breaking into the school after hours to change his grades. Calum Hood had to work his ass off just to graduate on time.

Apparently my shock was clear to him as he slightly blushed and mumbled out a "shut up" before looking out the window. I couldn't help it though and he understood.

"Wow. So what fancy, suit-wearing position did you land yourself?" I was genuinely interested but my smile faded as Calum clenched his jaw and tightened his grip on his coffee mug. I thought I saw a hint of worry in his eyes but it was gone as soon as it arrived.

"Finance." He spits out before taking a large gulp of his coffee. He couldn't meet my eye as he said it, my suspicion was rising. I knew my limits though and dropped the subject though.

"Well, college life is shit, in case you were wondering." My blunt statement pulled a loud laugh out of Calum and I smiled at the victory. His next statement wasn't at all expected, but it warmed my heart and threw me back into the summer I had been longing to return too. With a smile that reached his eyes with crinkled them at the same time he breathed out a simple:

"Damn, I missed you."

I couldn't agree more.