Safe

Chapter 9:

Kovit got out of the wagon first and then helped me down, as I almost fell on him again. Kai glanced at me and Kovit and then took off his scabbard and cloak. He took off his boots and then passed by Kovit and I, hitting Kovit's shoulder as he walked to the Lake. I looked up and Kovit and he seemed a bit off because of how Kai was treating him. Kovit took me to the other side of the lake and sat down with me while we watched the other's enjoy the water. I didn't hate the water, I just never enjoyed it like others do. I just decided to keep my distance and stay a bit away from it.

"Thank you for helping me read. I'm sorry that you had to do that. I must seem like a little kid, huh?" I said in a small voice. Kovit smirked and looked at the others who were enjoying the lake.

"You didn't seem like a little kid. You just didn't know how to read is all." Kovit explained. "Why don't you swim?" He asked.

"Never learned how." I said bluntly. He stared at me for a moment in disbelief before looking back at the water.

"When we are safe, I will teach you." He said. I raised my eyebrow at him and smirked.

"Are you just going to teach me anything?" I asked in a joking manner. He smirked and looked at me with the same face that I had.

"It depends, what do you need to learn?" Kovit asked me. I looked up from the corner of my eye and made a thinking face and tilted my head for a more dramatic effect.

"I don't know how to read, I can't swim, I don't know how to cook, I don't know how to take care of a pet or pretty much any of the essential stuff that they are supposed to teach a princess or any girl for that matter." I said off the top of my head. I laughed at how dumb I was at first, but then a wave of sadness came over me. I looked down at the water and put my feet in it and splashed them a bit. Kovit looked at the sky and rested back on his arms behind him.

"Happy childhood." Kovit said sarcastically. I scoffed and then smirked at him. He smiled at me softly before looking back at the sky as the sun slowly set. The colors of the pink and orange sunset were quite peaceful as I heard the sounds of the others laughing and the birds chirping. "So you really didn't know about the war?" Kovit asked me. I shook my head.

"I had no idea. Even if I did, I would probably either not have a say in it anyways or be used as a weapon and still not have a say in any of it." I said sadly. "But I still feel guilty... like... I could have done something about it." Kovit sat back up and put his hands on my shoulder and made me look at him.

"None of what has happened to you or anyone else is your fault. You couldn't have done anything about it." Kovit said. They say that the eyes are the window to the soul. I saw a look of hurt in his eyes. At that moment, I saw the memories of terror and bloodshed in his look alone. As he told me that it wasn't my fault, it almost sounded like he was trying to convince himself more than me. I stared in his eyes, getting lost. I didn't know what this feeling was, but I felt an emotional connection with Kovit and I couldn't explain or define why. Kovit suddenly hugged me. I didn't know what to do. I stood there in silence not knowing how to react. I hesitantly hugged him back and he relaxed.

"What are you doing?" I asked in a shy tone of voice.

"Giving you affection." He said. I was a little confused as to why I felt this way when he hugged me. My face turned as red as a cherry at the sudden gesture.

"Why?" I asked once more. He looked at me and tilted his head.

"Why what?" He asked, clearly confused as to what I just asked him. I barely looked at him because of the tears in my eyes and my face being bright red.

"Why are you treating me like I matter? Like I am worth something to you? What do I mean to you that you haven't killed me yet?" I yelled in a kind of a quiet tone. As silence fell on us, Kovit stood up and took my hand and pulled me up. He smiled softly at me and then moved the piece of hair in my face, behind my ear.

"You do matter. I don't know what my intentions are with you, but hopefully, we will figure it out soon. Different parts of me are saying different things about what I should do. For now, just let yourself believe that your past doesn't define who you can become." He said. I was definitely not used to compliments, so I just hid my face behind my hair and I heard Kovit laugh softly. He started to walk away.

"Kovit?" I started. Kovit looked back at me and crossed his arms. "Thank you." I said. He seemed to have snapped into a different person completely, cause he just put his hands in his pockets, looked at me and then gave a scoff and smirk before giving me a look of acceptance.

"Yeah, well don't get too used to it." Kovit told me. "We leave at dawn tomorrow. If you want to wash up, I suggest you do it now before we leave." Kovit suggested. I grinned softly before nodding and then following a bit far behind him. I walked over to the wagon and sat down on the edge of it. Leah and Ronan seemed to be having fun. They were a good dui, their wavelengths seemed to match pretty well. I watched as Kai started a fire and then Kovit sat and talked with him. Luka was getting something in his wagon. I leaned back and relaxed for a bit until it was time for dinner. I couldn't stop thinking about what Kovit had told me. I couldn't stop thinking about why he hugged me. Why was I so special to him? I didn't understand why he hadn't just ended my life already. However, it's not like I want to die... I have Luka now. Luka is the reason I have to keep living. We are the only family each other has. I can't abandon him in this life or any life. However, now that Kovit is around, my feelings and ambitions are different. I'm not sure what they are, but I know that they are strong and healthy goals that I need to reach in order to feel at peace with myself.

After a while of thinking and attempting to read by myself, I heard footsteps. I looked up to see Luka coming towards me with a piece of rose colored cloth. He sat next to me and then put it around me.

"What's this?" I asked him. Luka smiled and then looked at the barely visible stars.

"It's a shaw. You wear it when it's chilly like tonight." Luka responded, I nodded and thanked him. I hugged him and he held me tight like our mom used to do to comfort us. "What were you thinking about?" Luka asked. I sighed and then told him everything. The whole story and how my feelings were somehow attached to Kovit, but I couldn't tell what I was feeling. I told him how whenever he touched my arm or held onto me on the wagon so I wouldn't fall and hurt myself again. I told him how whenever he did anything remotely kind to me, my face would warm up and I would feel sick... but in a good way. Luka smiled and then started to laugh. I was utterly confused.

"Why are you laughing? I don't know these feelings, tell me!" I said loudly to him. I punched his arm and he shoved me playfully. I smirked before shocking his arm with my magic. I laughed at him as he screamed like a little girl, even though I didn't use strong magic on him. Luka shocked me back and after a while of doing this, I used a restraint spell to make him stop. I threatened to use the truth spell on him, but he wasn't scared of it, he was just playing with me until I got mad.

"The reason you feel like that around Kovit is because you're in love with him!" Luka said in a dramatic tone of voice. "You just haven't felt these feelings in such a long time, that you've forgotten how it feels to love someone." I thought about it for a second. Maybe Luka is right. Maybe I have forgotten what it feels like to love someone and how to receive love from someone else. That might be why I have such a hard time accepting it. I was scared to think about loving someone, but also a little excited. Although, I didn't know if Kovit felt the same way. I was scared to ask, so I pretty much avoided him the rest of the night while Luka watched and laughed at me whenever I did so. I guess Leah had been talking to Luka because whenever I got close to Kovit, she would give me a look that was clearly telling me to talk to him. I sat a good distance away from the fire and ate my food. Once again, I didn't even think about staring into the fire. I saw Kai and Kovit talking on the opposite side of us. It seems like they made up for old times. Leah and Ronan were talking and Luka joined in on the conversation with Kovit and Kai. I finished my food and then sat back down.

(YO! WE GOT NUMBER 60 IN #MIDEVIAL!!!!! THANK YOU TO WHOEVER THE ONE PERSON WHO VOTED ON MY STORY IS!!! LOVE YOU TO PIECES.!!!)

ok I'm done now...

-bldysketcher