1945; Love during War

Chapter 38: The Goodbye

It was a lot to expect given the circumstance but one could push further with their expectations. That is why Kim Taehyung kept finding himself looking at the entrance of station even though he knew Jungkook would not come.

All of the people had come to bid goodbye with a heavy heart. The fact that they all came up to the station crossing the water through boat made Taehyung realize what he had created weren't just brief acquaintances, rather a heart- connecting bond. But the face his heart ached to see the most was not there. But who was to blame for that? Himself.

When Jungkook stepped out of the house feeling betrayed and heartbroken, Taehyung didn't have the courage in him to stop him or follow him. He thought regardless of what explanation he gives, it would sound absurd. It wasn't that he didn't believe in trying but what scared him was as strong as the bond was within such a short duration, it had witnessed difficulties more than it should have. And the consequences would always end up making Jungkook hurt. Taehyung felt maybe love wasn't enough to keep the relationship going? He recalled the word from Jungkook's book Happiness which he had the honor to read in his letter reply.

What is happiness, one might ask? Is it the absence of sadness? Is it the utter state of bliss? Is it being together with loved ones? Is it the fulfillment of your wishes? Is it being able to forgive, forget and moving on? Is it no state of war?

A subjective question that doesn't have a fixed answer and revolves around thousands of experiences of thousands of people. Yet, it is displayed with the same gesture, a curled lip with wrinkling and sparkling eyes.

As he recalled these words, he realized his actions and his presence bought more frown and tearful eyes than a curled lip with sparkling eyes. Maybe his presence could never bring happiness to Jungkook's life. Maybe he could never experience happiness like others.

His pool of thoughts was broken when the train made the signal that it was time for departure. The whistle brought him back to reality and he saw all the sad faces dreading his goodbye.

"If you all look this sad, it would be very difficult to return, wouldn't it?" Taehyung tried to lighten the mood with a heavy heart yet a warm smile.

"We will miss you so much Taehyung" Jessie came forward and hugged him dearly.

"Keep calling me in the booth whenever you get the opportunity to" Mr Bang hugged Taehyung.

"And me too" Jihoon jumped to hug Taehyung, circling his hands around Taehyung's waist.

Taehyung sadly smiled and hugged them back.

Mrs Park who had been carrying Naeun came forward. Naeun signaled Taehyung to carry her and so he did, holding her dearly for he couldn't bear the thought of leaving the little one behind.

"Why is tata going?" She asked sadly.

"Tata has to go back home princess." Taehyung replied, heart filled with sorrow.

"But tata promised to stay with Naeun and papa?" She stressed on the promise Taehyung had made.

But little did the young one know, promises were meant to be broken.

"Sorry princess, I am afraid papa doesn't want to see me anymore."

"But papa loves tata." She said, cupping Taehyung's cheeks with both her hands, caressing them with her tiny fingers.

"And so does Tata" he said, more like whispered, kissing the girl on her forehead.

Taehyung's eyes were fighting with the tears and every word coming from Naeun was pushing it to flow. But he composed himself.

Seeing this, Mrs Park took Naeun and handed her to Jessie.

It was awkward but they both had to bid goodbye.

Mrs Park stood in front of him and held both his hands in hers, "Taehyung, whatever misunderstanding has happened between us, I want you to know that it was only out of my motherly intentions for Naeun and Jungkook. I think deep down I knew, I had lost Jimin quite long ago but holding on to a blind faith seemed like a better escape than a bitter reality. As hard it is, I should be thanking you for your efforts. Maybe I needed this closure" she said showing the letter Yoongi had handed over last time, as a message written by Jimin.

She continued, "And I know that the bond you and Jungkook shared was truly beautiful and pure. I am sorry that such a pure bond was time and again tested. But I feel that whatever destiny and fate is awaiting for us, we can never avoid that. I know you know this well than I do but he truly and sincerely loved you, he still does."

At this point, Taehyung cried and embraced the hug offered by Mrs Park.

Yoongi just stepped out arranging the suitcases.

As the whistle for the final call blew, he spoke, "Taehyung, we should get on. It's time."

Taehyung broke the hug and gave a sad smile. "Take care of him Mrs Park, he deserves nothing but love and happiness."

"I promise Taehyung" she returned the same affection.

With a heavy heart, he bid a final goodbye and got on the train. His footsteps seemed dreaded as if he didn't want to move on but he knew he had no point to return. He silently walked to the train compartment followed by Yoongi. He got seated without muttering a word, staring out the window, a void in his heart.

Yoongi was hoping his arrival and their journey back would be joyful yet everything had been the exact opposite of it. Taehyung's joyful face had morphed into sadness since his arrival and how he was dreading the idea of returning back.

And amidst all this, the one feeling that was haunting his heart and mind was the way he could feel Taehyung's emotions towards Jungkook, something he had never experienced. It was an unsettling feeling to have a man you had confessed your love to showcase such emotions for someone else but deep down, he always knew Taehyung had never given him his heart truly.

So, he wasn't really surprised. When the silence engulfed the compartment, he stepped out saying he would get some water and food when in reality he just wanted to give the man some space.

Clouded by thoughts of Taehyung and Jungkook, Yoongi felt he had lost someone he never even had to start with. It pained him to know that a man he had fallen for was nowhere near to what he felt. And the worst part was whatever hope he had seen earlier, had come down diminishing now. And that was further confirmed when he heard the cry coming inside from the compartment, evidently Taehyung's, as he stood outside the door, fighting his own tears to fall