1945; Love during War

Chapter 40: The Puppets of Life

Yoongi tried to keep with life and work to his best but the fact that his relationship with Taehyung stood in a hanging position made him difficult to focus. He wanted to ask so many questions but what was he suppose to ask and think? That the man he was in love with had high likely fallen in love with another man? That despite returning home, he might have left his heart back there? Yoongi felt that his relationship with Taehyung had ended before it even started but he couldn't let guilt kill Taehyung. Yoongi wasn't just a good lover but he was also a great friend and if it meant for him break his own heart to ease Taehyung's pain, he had to. So, after a month, he found himself standing in front of Taehyung's house.

When Jin opened the door, he was surprised to see the unexpected guest.

"Yoongi, what a pleasant surprise." He said motioning him to come in.

Yoongi took off his gloves and jacket. "Sorry to barge in so uninvited but I had some important work."

"Oh no problem at all. This is like your house. Make yourself comfortable. I will put on some tea. Namjoon isn't here so you will have to wait for awhile." He said moving towards the kitchen.

"That would be lovely, thank you Jin. But my visit is for Taehyung, where is he?"

Jin stiffened a bit. He knew the relationship between Yoongi and Taehyung had jeopardized but they had yet to have this encounter.

"He-he's in his room." Jin replied uncomfortably.

"Is everything alright Jin? You seem tensed?" Yoongi asked concern expressed in his words.

It wasn't Jin's story to tell.  So he lied, "oh no no, he's in his room. I am sure he would be pleased to see you after so long."

" So, is it okay if I visit him in his room?"

"Sure. I think he's working too. You guys have a chat and I will make some tea".

Carefully, Yoongi climbed the staircase and approached Taehyung's room. He was hoping the door would be locked but to his surprise, it was open. What was even surprising was how the latter was passionately working on his typewriter. He cleared his throat and knocked on the door.

"Taehyung, may I come in?" He asked politely.

The unexpected visit made Taehyung surprised. He turned around to see Yoongi standing awkwardly in front of the door.

"Yoongi, what a pleasant surprise. Please come in." He said, motioning him to sit on the chair.

"How have you been Taehyung?"Yoongi asked breaking the silence despite knowing he wasn't well.

"I am fine, thank you. What about you?" Taehyung asked his voice strained with low energy from the exhaustion of one mast month.

"I have been good. Caught up with work and duty. Keeps me occupied" Yoongi smilingly answered.

And then there was silence in the air.

"I am sorry for not keeping any contact Yoongi. I haven't been feeling well that is why I didn't want to push it." Taehyung lied, breaking the silence.

Yoongi knew that wasn't the entire truth. And he felt that this had to be addressed now or never. He was conflicted whether this was the right time but he realized there would never be a right time for this so he spoke.

"Taehyung, I need to tell you something. It has been burdening for the last one month."

Taehyung simply nodded, allowing him to talk further.

"Uhh this is difficult than I had imagined." Yoongi awkwardly spoke but continued nonetheless. "I am no mind reader Taehyung but I am aware that our relationship has come to a point where trying to make it work is pointless. I knew my love was one sided and maybe unrequited too, but I had the tiniest faith that you might develop a liking towards me over time. Not out of love, but out of friendship I thought you would want to spend the rest of your life with me. But last month when I saw how you were physically and emotionally in pain, I realized your heart had already belonged to someone else. I realized people don't settle for love. It happens out when you least expect it and you certainly don't settle for it."

Taehyung silently listened to each and everything. Perhaps a little relived that Yoongi was aware of his feelings.

Yoongi continued, "There is no doubt that my love for you is pure Taehyung but I can't burden you with a relationship that you don't even feel anything for. That's why I wanted to say let's call it off." It was painful to mutter those words out but it had to be done, sooner or later.

After listening to the whole confession, Taehyung spoke slowly. "Yoongi, first of all, I owe you an apology for all the torture I have given you. Taking your love and trust for granted, keeping lies and worst of all, cheating on you, are mistakes I have committed and while I sincerely  apologize, I don't expect forgiveness from you. Maybe that would be a punishment for me. And regarding settling for you, you are a wonderful man full of love and pure intentions, no man should ever settle with you for the sake of it but rather have same or even more love and appreciation towards you, you deserve that. You came into my life when I struggled with trusting people yet you showed me the assurance that I could trust you. It is true that I was never able to reciprocate similar feelings but I truly saw you as a true friend and still do and even if we don't continue to speak, you will forever have that space in my heart".

Both felt a heavy weight lifted of their chest. Though the idea of losing Taehyung hurt him, he finally felt he got a closure from an unrequited love. Maybe it was happening for the best. They both smiled warmly at each other before Yoongi spoke again.

"If you don't mind me asking Taehyung but what about Jungkook? Are you guys going to leave it just like that?"

Taehyung had definitely not expected that quetsion coming from Yoongi. Infact, he himself hadn't even thought of that as he was so indulged in his book with the sole intentions of finishing it. It took for a while to answer.

"It wasn't just you that I hurt Yoongi. Jungkook suffered equally because of me. If there is one thing that I can stay to ensure he stays happy is to make sure I stay away from his life. That's the best way he can heal from the pain I have caused." He smiled sadly.

"I don't know if this is my place to speak or not Taehyung but you both were victims of the situation. You know how they say, sometimes we meet the right people but in the wrong time. Perhaps this time was wrong, perhaps the future holds a new story for you two."

Taehyung appreciated Yoongi's optimism but he wasn't in a place to wait for the future. For now, all he could do was capturing the moments of his life in the book and do the thing that would correct his mistakes.

"Yoongi, one thing I have understood is that we are all puppets of life. Some things will move as per our plan and some will not but at the end of the day, what's meant to happen will happen no matter what. For now, I believe my purpose is to write a book and I want to do that without focusing on anything else."

Yoongi seemed to have understood that this was a form of healing for Taehyung. They talked their hearts and finally felt a reciprocated bond with each other, one that of friendship. They were shortly accompanied by Jin but the company that shortly accompanied them was very impromptu.

"Hosoek, what are you doing here? I meant why are there are so many pleasant surprises." Jin asked, pouting a cup of tea for him.

He instantly froze seeing Yoongi seated on the chair so calm and composed. Every encounter with him made it difficult for withdrawing his emotions and today was no different.

He looked at Taehyung and spoke, "Tae, I brought you ink for the type writer since you last mentioned." He said handing over the bottle.

"Oh, thank you Hosoek. As a matter of fact, I was literally about to run out of it." Taehyung said taking the bottle.

"Best friend at your service" he said and was about to act funny when he realized the strong gaze falling on him. So, he stopped midway.

Despite the awkwardness, Hosoek managed to greet Yoongi and get a seat next to him. The four of them chatted about all kinds of things and it felt like Taehyung was moving on finally. Maybe it would be a difficult process but it was a start as the three of them felt seeing his smiling face.

A heart full conversation surrounded the room and Taehyung felt maybe sometimes we get accompanied by people we love and sometimes we have to stay distant from them. But that didn't take away the love that exists between them. That's how life works he felt and smiled.