that's life » s. hyde

[09] stolen car

Stolen Car

It was nighttime, and Kelso, Hyde, Fez, and Izzy were all standing around the Formans' driveway, watching Eric freak out over a scratch on his car.

"Forman man, it's a tiny, little scratch. Red's never gonna see it." Hyde said, looking at it closely.

"No, Red sees everything!" Eric said.

"He can see when Eric puts cheap gas in the car." Izzy giggled.

"I got it!" Kelso yelled. "We'll put my 'gas, grass, or ass' bumper sticker over it!" Eric let out a sigh of frustration. "Alright, listen Forman. Whatever happens, we'll all take the rap." The boys all agreed, but Izzy rolled her eyes, knowing how wimpy they all were when it came to Red.

As if on schedule, Red exited the house, intent on taking out the trash. He threw the trash bag in the garbage can, stopped, and whipped his head around to face the car. "How'd you scratch the car, Eric?"

"Have fun!" Kelso said.

"See ya." Hyde bid Izzy farewell by pinching her cheek, making her squeal and swat his hand away.

"Good luck, Eric." She said with a giggle.

She went inside and sat at the counter, watching her brother and her father talk. When Red came in, he just went straight into his den. Eric followed, clearly upset.

"What happened? Did he vow to have you head on a stick?

"No, he took the car keys." He muttered.

Izzy sighed. "Damn, I'm sorry. But hey, maybe he'll teach me how to drive, and then I can take you places for a change!"

Eric laughed. "Yeah, like Dad will have the patience to teach you to drive."

-

The next day, after school in the basement, Donna, Jackie, and Izzy were sitting on the couch reading a magazine. "Oh my god." Donna said, "Hair Dos and Don'ts of Olympic Gold Medalists."

Jackie's eyes widened. "Oh my god, is that Dorothy Hamill? Psh, she's a virgin."

"No way! That gold medal probably gets her a lot more than you'd think." Izzy said.

"Speaking of, umm..." Donna said, gesturing with her hands. "You know those girls at school who do it, like, all the time?"

Jackie nodded. "Yeah."

"Alright, is it just me, or do they seem... more relaxed?"

"You know what? I think it's-" Izzy was cut off by the basement door swinging open, and Hyde, Eric, and Fez walking in.

"Hi!" The three girls said in unison, jumping at the sight of the boys. Donna tossed the magazine onto the coffee table.

"Hey, what were you guys doing?" Eric asked.

"They were talking about sex." Fez said, sitting down.

Hyde laughed and sat down. "Come on, Fez, chicks don't talk about sex, man. It's dirty."

"Yes we do!" Jackie said. "Especially when it involves Michael Kelso, my dreamboat."

"Oh great, now we have to talk about Jackie and Kelso's sex life." Hyde groaned. "This is my worst nightmare."

"Well, guess what," Izzy said, "before you guys got here, Jackie and Donna were actually having a pretty good time."

Everyone stared at Donna, who laughed. "I know, I was surprised too."