that's life » s. hyde

[39] bye-bye basement

Bye-Bye Basement

One morning, at the breakfast table, Izzy had just set down a plate of waffles for the rest of her family when Hyde walked in. He groggily rubbed his eyes and sat in his usual chair, grabbing several waffles while Red and Kitty watched confusedly.

"Steven, it's seven-damn-thirty in the morning, what the hell are you doing in here?"

"Red! Be nice." Kitty said, then paused, watching Hyde. "Steven, we're waiting."

Izzy set down a glass of orange juice in front of Hyde's plate. "He's been living in the basement again," she said, kissing his cheek and sitting down next to him.

"You know," Eric said, "I did notice a dusting of curly hair on the floor. But I just wrote it off as my changing teenage body."

Izzy scrunched up her nose. "Eric, that's disgusting."

"My dad got transferred, so I moved back in." Hyde explained.

"Transferred?" Red asked. "He's a bartender! Where'd he get transferred to, the jukebox?"

"Y'know Red, if it's cool, I'd kinda rather not talk about it."

Kitty shook her head. "Well Steven, it's important to get these things out in the open!"

"Kitty, let him do what's natural and keep his feelings bottled up!" He turned to Hyde. "Atta boy!"

"Well." Kitty sighed. "Welcome back, Steven. You know, maybe we can spruce up your old room, since I've decided to redo the basement!"

This made all the heads at the table look at Kitty in confusion. "What?" Eric asked. "You're redoing the basement?"

"Well honey, no one uses it!"

Izzy's eyes widened. "I do! We do! Every day!"

"It's my Batcave!" Eric whined.

Red chuckled. "I'll find you a good, cheap contractor."

"Oh, no no!" Kitty protested. "This is something I want to handle myself."

"This is gonna be expensive, isn't it?"

"Maybe."

Red sighed. "Don't you like anything cheap?"

"I like you."

"Ooh!" Izzy laughed. "Burn, Daddy!"

-

Down in the basement, the gang was all hanging out while Kelso was pacing the perimeter like a sheepdog.

"Man, I'm gonna miss it down here." He said, looking at the dirty walls. "Lotta good times. Broke my foot climbing out of this dryer. Hit my head playing handball with the soap in that shower." He grinned. "Me and Jackie totally did it, like, a bajillion times on this old sofa."

Eric and Donna, who were sitting on opposite sides of the couch, looked down at the cushions and immediately got up.

"Michael, that's private!" Jackie said, walking up to him.

"I got news for you," Hyde said. "It wasn't that private."

Just then, Kitty came rushing out of the back room, hastily taking the rubber gloves off her hands. "Oh my god, that is the biggest spider I have ever seen! I think it had a rat in its mouth!" She shuddered. "Okay, I think maybe the basement isn't the place for me after all."

Eric nodded, wide-eyed. "You know what, Mom, I think you might be right. I mean, not only is it bug infested down here, in all honesty I think it might be haunted."