Trying to live

Time

Katniss's POV:

So after the day that I called Annie over for movies, I've been constantly having thoughts of how the time is passing so quickly and I am so scared that the medication won't work at all. Willow's became really kept to herself too and it only makes me notice more, how independent she is becoming and how much Rye and Elle have grown to be great little human beings. Also, I can see how much more I cannot do anymore. Oh, but I'm gonna have my first official chemotherapy in the three hours so I have my hopes still up high.

I can feel my phone buzzing next to me at 9 am to wake me up, but it isn't really needed since I've been up and with my thoughts since before Peeta woke up at 6.30 am to prepare breakfast and everything. Well, I'll get ready then. I get up and dressed as fast but as carefully as I can, which takes me around 15 minutes, although I had my outfit picked out 2 days in prior and Peet set it out on his side of the bed when he left the house. He's still the sweetest, I don't understand how he isn't tired from my issues already, but okay then. 

I brush my teeth and put my hair in 2 braids, then get downstairs to the kitchen and see cheesebuns and a note on the table. I pick up the note while slowly starting to eat one still warm cheese bun. The note is honestly so adorable:

"Good morning my stunning  strong queen,

Our precious children and I are all holding fingers crossed for you that he chemo works and your pills kick in too and beat that stupid illness. You're so strong! Enjoy the cheesebuns before you go, though.

We love you so much more than you could ever imagine,

Your king, prince and princesses."

Ugh, I love them all so damn much too. 

I go on my phone and see so many messages from Annie's phone. I open the conversation and as it turns out, all three of the Mellark family were spamming with messages and photos of good luck wishes and that everything will get better really really soon. I truly want to believe them and I send Annie a thank you message telling her how much they all mean to me.

As the clock hits 10.30 am, I get in my car and drive to the hospital. I get to the desk, say my name and the lady at the entrance says sorry to me with sincerity in her eyes and gives me a check to show, that I have permission to enter the chemotherapy section in the hospital.

I ask the lady for instructions on how to get there and she told me to go on the 4th floor and to the right-wing. That's exactly what I do but still manage to get lost with the doctor's office.

Getting there, a door opens in front of me with an older man coming out and smiling at me. He isn't wearing anything like you would expect a doctor to wear on duty, so I am kind of confused.

"Ey, I'm not your doctor," he says while chuckling at me. "Your first time here huh?" he asks while looking concerned at me. "Too young to have such a serious disease, don't you think?"

"Yes and I'm not sure, I think so though. I mean, there are children who are born in worse condition than I am in right now, so I don't think I should be complaining that much." I say and smile back at him. He sighs and says: "Well, we can't help it. Sadly these cases happen, but that's life - cruel and unfair, isn't it?" I nod as an answer and he leaves as I get more anxious about the upcoming procedure waiting for me inside that very room in front of me.

As the time ticks by in its cruel passion, I can feel my need to throw up continuously growing. Eventually, I can't help it and just as I stand up to go to the bathroom, the door to the doctor's office opens and I hear a gasp come from the direction.

"What are you doing in here?"