SPARKS | JENLISA, CHAESOO

Chapter 23

Lisa's POV.

I quietly entered the bedroom and checked my phone. 23:28. Damn, it's late. I untied my shoes noticing that my hand was trembling slightly. Get your shit together Lisa, be brave, don't be nervous now! As much as I wanted to pretend that I wasn't scared, I still had to admit anxiety was skyrocketing inside me. But there's no turning back, I made my decision.

Maybe the most difficult decision in my life.

After classes I went out and walked around the city for hours, thinking about what I should do. I ordered some food but I barely ate, my stomach felt like a knot. Then I spent another two hours strolling after dark through almost empty streets, still trying to make up my mind. But at least when I came back to our apartment I knew what I was going to do.

I approached the bed. Jennie was sleeping, breathing rhythmically, her long dark hair spread on the pillow. She looked so beautiful that I couldn't help smiling lightly. I sat next to her and gently touched her arm.

"Jen?"

She slowly opened her eyes.

"Liz, where have you..." I put a finger on her lips, stopping her from talking.

"Shh, don't talk. Just... make love to me." I whispered. Then I took off my t-shirt and noticed with satisfaction how her eyes beamed with desire gazing at my naked breasts. I leaned over to her lips and kissed her softly. My anxiety was completely gone, all I wanted at this moment was to feel her body against mine... I broke the kiss and looked deeply in her darkened eyes, I could feel her accelerated breath and see her wet lips trembling slightly, asking for more. I kissed her again, this time more firmly and my hand went under her top, cupping her breast. I shivered with pleasure noticing how hard her nipple was.

"Ouch!" I let out a quiet scream when she suddenly pushed me away and jumped out of bed.

"What are you doing Liz?" she asked, panting heavily.

"What does it look like I'm doing?" I asked sexily, but Jennie's face turned serious.

"Just be honest with me."

"I... I thought about us a lot today and I decided that I want to do it. Don't you want it too?"

"Of course I do! I've dreamed about this for so long. There's nothing that I want more, but... not like that." she uttered with difficulty.

"Like what?"

"Just give me a moment to gather my thoughts, I need to be able to be clear about it." she closed her eyes and tried to control her breath. After several seconds she continued in a trembling voice, desperately trying to make it sound firm and steady.

"Liz, the fact that you needed to think about it for hours means that you're not ready yet. You convinced yourself that you want it, but I think that deep inside you still have doubts. I know sex is a big deal for you, I may not agree with your views but I respect them. I really do. And I just can't do it with you, knowing that you have doubts... Do you understand?"

I knew she was right, but... I still felt bad by how she turned me down. Without saying a word I put on my t-shirt again, lied down on the floor and covered myself with a blanket.

"Come on, you're not even going to talk to me?" Jennie asked sadly. "I was just trying to do the right thing..." She sat next to me and began caressing my arm. "Liz, say something, please..."

I was silent.

"Okay, it's fine." she said softly. "Just go to sleep now, we'll talk in the morning." She got up and went to bed, leaving me alone with my confused mind. Damn, I don't even know if I should feel grateful or mad.