Lonely (BTS X Depressed Reader)

~9~

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I woke up in a bedroom, which I assumed was Namjoons because he was sitting there on the table and writing something.

„G-good morning." I greeted him

He turned around and smiled „Morning to you too."

„W-what time is it?" „It's 11 a.m. The others are already at school and you have to rest for a bit and we didn't want to leave you alone at home, so I stayed with you." He replied to my question.

If you had woken up earlier then he wouldn't have to stay alone with a slut like you!

„Wh-what are you doing?" I asked him

„I am working on a new song and I am stuck with the lyrics." He sighed.

„I-if you want, I-I can help y-you?" I offered him my help since I also write lyrics.

"I don't know if you can help, but here have a look and tell me."

~Time skip~ one hour later

After an hour of writing Lyrics we finished and made a small break.

"You are really good at songwriting, thank you for your help." Namjoon said. "N-no Problem." I replied.

"So what are we gonna do now?" Namjoon asked.

"H-how About we t-try recording the n-new song?"

„That's a good idea. Come on let's go to the studio." He stood up and went to the door. I didn't give much attention to the room so I looked at it before stepping through the door.

~Time skip~ after finally recording

„Wow! Have you ever thought about being a rapper?" I could feel my cheeks getting red.

„Th-thank you but I am n-not that good." I am not good at rapping at all. I think he is just saying this because he doesn't want to hurt me.

„Don't say that you are really good at rapping." He said.

And before I could reply we heard the front door open. We both stood up and went to the hallway to see that the others returned from school.

„Hello" I greeted them.

They all greeted back while entering. The maknae-line climbed up the stairs, I guess they went to do their homework. J-hope and Namjoon went practicing on their dancing, Yoongi was sleeping on the couch in the living room. So that leaves Jin, which was in the kitchen and preparing dinner.

I didn't know what to do so I went to Jin. „D-do you need a-any help?" I asked him. He flinched a bit and then turned around, facing me.

„Oh it is you! You scared me, I didn't hear you enter the kitchen, and to answer the question I don't really need help right now but if I need you for something then I will tell you." He said.

I nodded and sat at the island. There was an awkward silence so I decided to break the silence and start a conversation.

„ H-how was school t-today?" I asked him.

„It was boring but okay." He replied

„Can you please wash the dishes that are dirty?" He asked me.

„Yes." I stood up and went to the sink. I didn't roll up my sleeves because he would see my cuts.

I turned on the water and started washing the dishes. From the corner of my eye I could see how Jin was taking looking at my wet sleeves.

„Moon, you know you can trust me with anything. I am not gonna force you to tell me and I promise I won't tell anyone. I am going to be there for you no matter what." Jin suddenly spoke up and what he said shook me a bit.

„Thank y-you Jin, I really appreciate everything you have d-done to me and I will tell you l-later when everyone i-is asleep." I decided to tell him because I have this feeling that he is trustworthy and that he will understand me.

~Time skip~

When Jin and I finished cooking dinner. We called the others to come. When everyone arrived I sat between Jimin and Taehyung.

Everyone was talking together while eating so I guess they didn't notice that I only ate a salad. When I finished I told them that I am going to the bathroom. I stood up and went to the bathroom in the hallway.

I made sure I locked the door after entering. I am feeling so full. I don't stand the feeling of having food in me and that is why I have to get it out of my body.

I was going to throw up when suddenly it knocked on the door. „Who i-is it?" I asked.

„It's me, Jin"

I opened the door and he came in. He locked the door and looked around, like he was checking something. After some seconds he let out a relieved sigh. 

I looked at him with a questioning look. When he noticed, he spoke up. „You didn't do or were going to do anything to yourself, right?" He asked me.

I looked down on the floor and replied. „N-no I didn't d-do anything."

„But you were going to do something, right?"

I kept my mouth shut.

„What were you going to do, Moon? Pleas tell me I need to know so I can help you." He really is kind-hearted. He is like an angel in human form.

Look how you always make them so worried. You can't even keep small secrets.
You are so pathetic.
Always asking for help.
I am surprised they didn't leave you yet, but I think that is because they need to know all your weaknesses so they could hurt you even more.
Don't tell him! Don't tell him! Don't tELL HIM! DON'T TELL HIM! DON'T TELL HIM!

I closed my eyes tightly and when I couldn't hear the voices anymore I opened them again and decided to not believe in the voices for once. I will see if it turns out good or not.

„I-i was going t-to throw up t-the food I ate." I told him but I felt so ashamed of myself so I quickly added a „I am s-sorry you had t-to hear that. Y-you must think I-i am disgusti—''  

„No I don't think so. And thank you for trusting me and telling me your problems. I will try to help you." He said while pulling me into a hug.

„I promise." and then he held up his pinky and I locked mine with his.