Lonely (BTS X Depressed Reader)

~11~

The tear that were  rolling down my face couldn't stop. I thought he was dead. But he is here, alive! I can't believe it.

„How is my lovely son doing. I haven't seen you for years. You became so handsome. Why didn't you call me or your father? Didn't you miss us?" My mother always acted like this in front of him. But he knows that she's fake.

„Did you meet any girls while you were in Australia? Did you get a girlfriend?" My dad asked him.

„You guys exactly know why I am here so there is no need to act in front of me. Now tell me, where is she?" he made a pause then continued to talk, „Where is my little sister? Where is Moon?"

Look he is asking for the slut. Go in. Tell him that you hate him for leaving you all alone. Tell him that you don't want to ever see his face again. He would go and never return. Then we could continue with bringing you pain and make you suffer cause pain is what you deserve.

No, I don't want him to leave. He was the one that was here for me. I am not going to leave him and that's for sure.

„Oh you mean that slu- little girl. She is at her friends house. She is going to have a sleepover there. By the way what do you want to eat? I am going to make lunch for us." She really lied at him. After all these years she just told him that I am not here?

That means I have to hide in my room before he sees me. I quickly went upstairs without making a sound and went into my room. After locking it I sat down on my bed and cried my eyes out.

Look at yourself!
Such a crybaby!
Always crying and complaining!
Be thankful for getting what you deserve!
You are a slut
A coward
A bitch
A whore
Not wanted
A burden
A waste
A monster
A mistake
An assh-

„STOOOOP!!! STOP IT PLEASE!" I screamed while holding my ears.
I don't want to hear this voice anymore.
I don't want to feel anything anymore.
No pain, No suffering, Nothing
I don't want to be here anymore.
I want to disappear from this world.
I want to make those voices stop.

You know how to make us lower. You just need your best friend, Moon. Do it. I know you want to.

They are right. I just need my best friend, my blade. Its right there on my desk. I just need to stretch my arm to reach it.

Finally, it's in my hand.
Cold metal between my thumb and index.
My hand slowly finding its way to my skin.
Putting some pressure and sliding it across my thighs.
I have to make as many as possible.
1
2
3
4
5
6
7...
...
30

I made thirty cuts. 10 on each thigh and the others on my chest waist stomach etc.
The bandages are full of blood and the withe shirt that I put on is blood drained now.

I am feeling so dizzy but I mustn't pass out. I still have to clean the mess I made.

After a while I finished cleaning and took some painkillers. No, I didn't take an overdose if that's what you wanted to ask.

I sat on the floor leaning on the wall and took my phone out which was in my trousers/pants pocket. As I was searching for my suicidal playlist, I heard a knock at the door.

These weren't my parents, they never knock on the door. It has to be him. I didn't make any sound so he will go away. I actually want to hug him. And tell him how much I missed him. But that was not possible. I think my parents already found out that I am not in that room anymore.