SERIES 1 : MY DEMONIC MAFIA

CHAPTER 25 : TIME

I opened my eye when I hear something like a beeping noise, and my blury view became clear.

I felt my head hurting , breaking.

'nasan ako? ' I roamed my eye around the place and then I knew it. I know where I am.

Hospital.

I groaned in pain when I tried to move my head.

"Arghh! " napatigil ako sa pag daing ng biglang bumukas ang pintuan at inuluwa nito ang lalaking may pag alala ang mukha.

"Calista.. Shit baby! " he ran towards me and when he reach my bed he lean and cupped my face. Staring it intently.

Hindi ko alam kung anong pumasok sa utak ko pero inilayo ko ang mukha ko sa kamay nito. Ito naman ay natigilan at nalilitong napatitig sakin.

He stared me with that emotions again.

'worried. ' if he really are then he wouldn't dare hurt me. But he just did.

"H—how.. " magalgal ang boses ko at parang naiiyak nako but I managed my self not to. Ang dami ko pang pwedeng e sumbat sa kanya.

"What how? What are talking baby?.." my stare never leave his ash eye.

Bumangon ako sa pagkahiga and thank god hindi ako nahirapan.

"I—I remembered everything n—now.. " naging malabo ang paningin ko habang pinipigilan ko naman ang luha kung pilit ng bumabagsak.

Denver stilled and his lips parted open. Nakita ko kung paano ito napalunok.

"How could you.. how could you introduce yourself to me? How could you do that to me!? " my heart twitched in throbbing. Para itong pinipiga.

"Calista—"

"Don't you dare call me like that! Paano mo nagawa sakin yon? You didn't even tell me that you are the rea—..." I stop, no.. My sobs stop me from talking.  "Paano mo nagawa sakin ang bagay na yon? Paano mo nagawang magpakilala sakin na ikaw yong lalaking minahal ko eighteen years ago?! Paano mo nagawang bumalik sa buhay kong sinira mo!? Paano mo nagawa sakin yon.. " Masikip. Masikip na yong puso ko. I cried and break in front of him.

"Bakit hindi mo sinabi sakin ang totoo, may alam ka but you keep it secret to me. Pakiramdam ko ang laki ng kasalanan ko. Kasi hindi naman tayo aabot sa sitwasyon na ganito kung hindi ako sumama sayo. But no, I followed what my heart wants, at yon ang makasama ka, pero tang*na! Ang lalaking mahal na mahal ko ay ang dahilan kung bakit ako naghihirap. Yong tipong magigising ka na hindi mo alam kung anong gagawin mo kasi nga diba? Wala akung maalala. " nanunuyo na yong lalamunan ko pero hindi yong mga mata ko. Patuloy parin itong tumutulo ng luha.

"I'm sor—"

"You're sorry again. " I deeply sigh.   "For once wag ka namang mag sorry.. I need you to defend yourself, so that I have at least a reason not to leave you. Galit ako sayo. Galit ako sayo kasi pinag mukha mo akung tanga sa harapan mo, nag mukha akung tanga sa harap ng lalaking nagbigay sakin ng amnesia. Dahil sa ginawa mo, nakalimutan ko pansamantala ang pamilya ko, nakalimutan ko ang sarili ko. Kaya nagtatanong ako, paano mo nagawang bumalik at magpakilala sakin na parang wala kang ginawa na masama!? Hindi mo man lang iniisip yong mararamdaman ko once na malaman ko ang katotohanan! You're a selfish assh*le! " I punch his chest and continue crying.

Masakit na talaga yong puso ko, sumisingot ako at yuyuko na sana but Denver never let me look down.

His ash eye starting to cry.

"Calista.. You can call me selfish all the time, dahil totoo naman yon. I'm so selfish for not telling you, natatakot kasi ako sa posibleng mangyari. Hindi ko kayang mawala ka sakin. Mahal na mahal kita. At pinangako ko sa sarili ko na walang pwedeng humawak at umangkin sayo habang buhay pa ako. You were asking me kung bakit ko ginawa yon? Kasi ilalayo ka nila sakin,  I felt it. I was so irrational that time nung pilit kitang pinasakay sa kotse, I was so mad of thinking that they'll going to separate us. Natakot ako na baka ilayo ka nila sakin, so before they could do that, I did a moved. A selfish moved. Balak ko sanang isama ka at ilalayo kita para hindi ka nila kunin sakin. God knows how much I want to tell you the truth but my fear.. I fear of losing you.. " he held my chin and caress my face lightly. Masuyo ang bawat galaw nito, when his thumb wipe my falling tears.

"Calista.. Baby.. I'm sorry...and I'm not gonna defend myself, it was all my fault, kasalanan ko kung bakit nangyari yon sayo, kasalanan ko kung bakit nag ka amnesia ka, kasalanan ko kung bakit nahihirapan ka. I'm sorry.. It's all my fault baby.. I'm sorry.. "

"I'm still mad at you, hindi ko mawala yong galit at inis sayo. Ewan ko pero sarado ngayon ang isipan ko. " tinanggal ko ang mga kamay nito sa mukha ko.  "Hindi ka naman nag sinungaling e, pero bakit yon yong pakiramdam ko? Ang hindi ko lang talaga ma intindihan ay kung bakit hindi mo sinabi sakin? Bakit mo tinago sakin ang katotohanan? "

"If I tell you, would you still stay? If I tell you the truth, will you stay? If I tell you what happened that day, you will be leaving me. And I can't stand a second of time without you. I can't.. "

He's losing his self. I can see.

"Because of your selfishness, I'm suffering. Suffering in pain. " I wipe my cheeks when I can feel my tears are rolling down.  " ngayon alam ko na, kung bakit nakalimutan kita. Kung bakit nilimot ka ng isip ko, kasi hindi nya matanggap na ang taong minahal ko ay ang taong sinaktan ako. " napahingos ako at naiiling.

"I hate you.. " mahina na yong boses ko parang kinuha na lahat ng lakas ko. "hindi ko tuloy maiiwasang mag isip, kung lahat ba ng pinakita at sinabi mo sakin ay totoo..Baka kasi bumalik ka sa buhay ko kasi, bumabawi ka lang, na nagsisisi ka o kaya naman... Bumalik ka kasi gusto mo akung saktan—"

"No I can't do that, masyado kitang mahal.. " that make me even cry more..

"Masyado mo akung mahal? kung masyado mo akung mahal hindi mo ako sasaktan! Kasi ngayon palang, ang sakit sakit na. Masakit na siya dito.. " tinuro ko ang dibdib ko kung saan ang puso kung namimilit na sa sakit.

Natahimik ito sa sinabi ko , iniba ko ang tingin ko at na tuon ito sa sofa kung saan may pagkain akung nakita duon. Maybe that's for me.

"My mind is closed right now. Sarado ngayon yong isipan ko. I want you leave. Leave me alone Denver. "

Nakita ko kung paano ito umiling.

"No. Ayoko. I would never le—"

"Please! " nilingon ko ito. I can't stand you right now.  "Leave. Ayoko makita ka. So respect me this time. Kasi hindi mo yon nagawa, back then.. you didn't respect me when I told you to leave. So please this time gawin mo.. Leave me alone. I don't want to see you masyado mo ang nasaktan." I just need some time, I need some space from this slapping reality.

Denver didn't move nor say something, instead he intently stare me for a couple of minutes then he turned around.

Why my heart flint in pain when he turned around me..

Naglakad ito patungo sa pintuan and he quietly leave. Leaving me behind. But that's the better way. I needed some time, time to open my mind and try to understand him again.

Nahiga ako ulit at tahimik na umiiyak, bakit sa lahat ng taong pweding gumawa sakin non? Bakit ang taong mahal na mahal ko pa?

Tinuyo ko ang pisngi ko at napabaling ang tingin ko ng bumukas ang pinto at  natigilan ako sa nakita ko.

"Princess.. " Dad.. My family.. Nandito sila. And for the second time, naiyak nalang ako bigla.

"Dad.. " I need some embrace. Embrace from my family.

***********

A/N: Sana magustuhan nyo.

#walangDenveratCalista?

No hate just Love 😍😍💞💓