Gregor Returns-

C H A P T O R 1 7

Gregor's P.O.V.

The light from the lanterns and  hung candles scurried around the room as I emptied my stomach's contents into the boul. It was pretty, who ever carved it had a talent. I felt a pair of hands on my back and worried eyes over my shoulder. Or maybe scared eyes, I can't tell anymore.

"Your alright, Gregor."

I scoffed lightly at Mareth's try at calming my nerves. "And your a liar." but regreted it anyway. Another hand, more calloused, ran through my hair. Usually I wasn't subjected to these nice of conditions, but I wasn't in the mood to be just that more conflicting.

After a minute of trying to catch my breath, I reach for the cloth I was handed and wiped my mouth. Each face was watching mine, enough for me to nearly fiddle my hands under the preasure. I eventually settled down and gave a grimace of a smile to Luxa, who was in utter disbelief.

"I doesn't hafta be close up, either. Anyway you want, I'm open to anything." I lifted my brows, knowing it won't be nearly that easy. After what I saw.

Luxa shook her head, "No." The force of that one word made me lean a fair distance back. "No. Why do you want this to happen. What reasoning behind this insanity. You wish to be killed. A few years ago, you could barely stomach the thought of holding a knife, much less using one."

I sighed, "But people change, Luxa." I waved my scarred hand across the room, "You knew this would change me. And you. Ive been, different, for longer than you know, so this isn't that much of a stretch."

I looked up, reaching over and twisted her crown with my thumb so it sat lobsided, "Look at you, a queen now. Probably couldn't stomach that either." The hand on my back, probably Vikus or maybe even Dulcet, squeezed gently as I smiled sadly in their direction.

And there was a moment, where I could tell everyone was considering. Obviously, theres something wrong with me. Something far deeper and darker than a rager, something more powerful. Something that needed, should of, been killed. Maybe thats what Im here for?

But that moment ended quickly. Mareth shook his head, "There must be an alternative where you succeed to live and whatever else in you dies. And whatever it may be, we will find it. You have a future, passion, a world to understand"

A grey webbed around my head before I could consider, and I felt myself shake my head. "You don't get it. I don't have any of those things. When I say I'm different, I mean it. Theres nothing I want, or have, no reason, no life. I have nothing but my sisters and parents, and you all who are more like fellow soldiers than friends. Nothing."

Dulcet, confirming that she was also in the room, pursed her lips and responded in a quiet but firm tone. "I believe I understand what you're experiencing, Gregor. I suggest while you get some help within Regalian walls, we will find some cure to your current problem."

I made a face, but, now older, I didn't object for once. "Will you be doing that, or...?"

"Me? I could, yes, but I was going to call in a person better in the craft. I could certainly arrange it to be different to make you more comfortable...?" I shook my head before he finished.

Sighing, I watching every persons face in the room. "If this doesn't work, you gotta kill me." The were silent pleas written on every face. They were ignored.

"I can't explain it. But I just know it ain't any good. And just that fact that I'd be leaving my family shows how important this is." The sides of his lips turned up in a bittersweet fashion, "I know your sort of used to this thing with anyone else. And I know your worried an sad cause it's me. But youll move on. You gotta move on some day, and I have a feeling, no matter if were dead or alive, it won't be with me."

Thats what you think.