High school With My Fiance|✔

Chapter 41

(Listen to 'silhouette'by Aquilo:))

Liya's pov

I walked out feeling numb. I couldn't feel anything. My legs, my arms, my feet everything felt numb.

I did everything. I gave my everything. I loved with all my heart. Tried to adjust like no one. Tried to stick by him no matter what. But as expected I was left hurt in the end. Hurt beyond words.

I anticipated this. I knew this day would come. The day I would be broken by him beyond repair. When I couldn't breath anymore. When I couldn't feel anymore. Becoming numb.

Did he really want this? Did he really want to break me so bad? Cause he succeeded. In the end he got what he wanted.

He really despised me.

I thought finally we could be together. I guess I was wrong. What wrong did I do to deserve this?

I stood still looking around. It was empty.But not more empty than my heart. There were no people around. And I couldn't be more grateful because finally I could drop the act. Even though I felt numb, I couldn't help but feel my heart tear up.

If only you could see, you would find it shattered into a million pieces. It felt like someone was piercing me with daggers. Continually. Not caring about how I felt. How hurt I was.

I looked up trying to control on my tears. I can't cry. Why should I? I don't deserve to cry. The only thing I deserve is to be hurt and then be tossed around. I have no right to feel. I have no right to let my feelings out. I have no...no.

A tear spilled out of my eye.

I tried to wipe it off.

I am fine. I have always been fine. I am no human.

Two more tears came rushing down my eyes.

"Dammit." I swore before wiping them off too. But the more I did, the more they came.

I hate it. I hate it. I HATE IT. I HATE MYSELF.

I tried to wipe my face off any signs of tears on them. Slowly but steadily I became aggressive as I tried to not let them out of my eyes.

I regret it. I regret falling in love at all. I now know that the worst thing that can happen to you is being in love. It only breaks you apart. It only leaves you feeling shattered. Incomplete. Hurt. Betrayed. Numb. Guilty. Angry. Hateful.

You will regret it. No matter what.

You will always be hurt by the people you love the most. They will walk out on you without caring.

Just like Xavier Reed.

Xavier Reed. The only person I fell in love with. Did everything for him. Got hurt by him and yet always stood by him. And just like anyone he refuses to accept his feelings. Even if that means losing me in his way. He would much rather lose me than accept his feelings.

Do I deserve this guy?

He kisses me and then refuses to feel anything towards it. He doesn't want me to be with anyone else and yet he doesn't want to be with me either. He wants to make me feel loved and cared however he is the one who hurts me the most.

I took another step forward before I stumbled and fell down. I sat there staring at the blood which was coming out of my knees.

It should be paining, right? Then why can't I feel it?

"WHY CAN'T I FEEL IT?! LET ME FEEL IT! LET ME FEEL THIS PAIN!" I yelled loudly looking up at the sky. My voice cracked.

Atleast it would be better than the pain inside me.