Finding Each Other

Chapter 21

POV JACE:

What Clary told me, left me thinking. I was on my way home thinking about what I was going to say as soon as I opened the door.

- You arrived early today.

- Clary has a somewhat strange theory that you and I like each other.

- Oh seriously? Well, she said the same thing ... But it's a little absurd, isn't it?

- Really ... But you know, we could test her theory here and now.

- Very well and what do you suggest?

"This!" I exclaimed and approached him, kissing him. We were kissing for a few seconds until he walked away.

- Okay, we already tested her theory ...

"Yes, I really didn't feel anything, and you?" I asked him, as he fixed my nightgown, for no reason.

- No, nothing ... Her theory is completely wrong.

- Yeah, ah, I'm going to take a shower and change clothes and then help you cook dinner. - I said going to my room.

Wow!! That kiss was .... Wow! Just a few seconds and I felt a whirlwind of things, I felt like I was in the clouds, it was like I took off. Did he feel the same? I couldn't make out his face after the kiss!

I changed my clothes and tried not to think about what had just happened, but it wasn't easy because his lips were stuck in my mind.

I went to the kitchen and Simon still hadn't left his room. I was divided, a part of me wanted to forget the kiss and never think about it again, but the other part wanted to repeat the experience. I started making dinner and shortly afterwards Simon joined me.

Being around him was strange because of what happened between us. He had to know the truth about what I felt but I don't want him to know and after he wants to get away from me because he doesn't feel the same, so it is best to keep quiet.

SIMON POV:

That kiss meant everything, I never felt that way with anyone, not even with Clary who was supportively, the love of my life. It made me feel so good and so bad at the same time ... That is, the sensation was incredible but the knowledge that he may not feel the same, is a disaster.

I had to finally tell someone the truth and that person was going to be Clary. She is my best friend ... After dinner, where none of us spoke a word, each went to our room. I don't remember falling asleep, but by the time I woke up it was almost seven thirty in the morning.

I went to the kitchen to have breakfast, that is, drink the synthetic blood and Jace was already sitting at the table eating.

"I'm going to the institute, are you coming with me?" Asked Jace, putting the cereal bowl on the stand.

- Yes, just let me go get my coat.

I went to my room to get everything I needed and then I went with Jace to the institute because I wanted to speak to my best friend as soon as possible. All night I couldn't stop thinking / imagining / reliving / dreaming about that kiss ... I needed her advice.

- Hey, Clary, do you think we can talk alone?

She took me to her room, closed the door with the crack and we sat on her bed.

- I have to tell you something and I want you to listen to me until the end. Jace and I kissed.

- Hallelujah! - exclaimed Clary. - But how, when, where? Explain yourself man ...

- Clary ... I told you to listen to me until the end.

"Just answer," she said and I just laughed.

- Now, as with lips, when yesterday afternoon after leaving here and where at home.

- Oh my god, and how did you feel?

- These are very complex feelings .... In an instant I was in the clouds and the next I was back on earth thinking about the consequences. During the kiss I felt a huge happiness, it seemed that nothing else mattered in the world, just me and him, but then when the kiss ended the feeling of fear attacked and I ended up telling him that I had felt nothing.

"Simon!" She shouted, almost screaming.

- What is it? He said the same.

- Because you said that first ... Did you want him to admit that he liked you after you told him you didn't feel anything? Wake up Simon Lewis .... for some things you can be very intelligent but for matters of the heart you are really stupid! I don't know what to do with you ...

- Oh sorry, at that moment I panicked okay?

- Are you in panic? Simon ... Tell me one thing, how do you feel about him? And I want the truth, not to hide things from me for fear of hurting my feelings.

- Okay, I'll try to explain ... you know that I have no way to admit what I feel.

- Let's do an experiment. Close your eyes and I'll count to five. When I finish telling, you have to tell me the event that marked you the most and that has to be one that Jace is involved too.

I didn't know very well what it was going to help me express my feelings for him or just to perceive them more clearly, but it didn't hurt to try her experience.

- 1, 2, 3, 4, 5 ...

- Heidi.- said after the end of her count.

- Don't open your eyes yet ... Heidi? She, Why? What did she do that made you realize that things with Jace were changing.

- She threatened to harm him!

- AND...

- That's when everything changed ...

- As well?

- I never said this to anyone but when she threatened to hurt Jace if I didn't run away with her, I considered her proposal. Not because I wanted to go, but because I wanted to keep Jace safe from that nut. I mean don't get me wrong, I know he knows how to defend himself, but she would do anything to seriously hurt him and I didn't want that to happen because of me. Every minute of every day I made a list of pros and cons to help me decide what to do.

- And helped you?

- If you want me to be sincere not really. I mean there were many reasons against it but only one pros, which was the one that weighed most on the list. It was from there that I knew that something had changed because I didn't want to know what would happen but what could happen to him. After the kidnapping, Jace and I continued to become even closer than we already were. Neither of us wanted to leave the other alone, so where one day, the other was right behind. It was from there that things became even more complicated, because I was having feelings and sensations that I had never felt before and I couldn't explain them. And then that kiss happened and I never felt so happy ...