Paused Emotions

9

A/N: I've been watching Gossip Girl for the first time and I have to say, it's addicting. What is something you guys are watching right now?

Caspian

I'm tired.

I just spent a whole hour trying to unpack, but I keep getting distracted by my phone. So many people added me on Snapchat and followed me on Instagram. The Instagram I only gave one person for guidance.

Never trust people, Cass.

Too late for that, don't you think?

I laugh to myself. Oh well, it's okay. It's not like they're going to bite me. Ok they might, but hopefully not.

So many people are following me. Good thing I have a separate— private account for just my close friends.

I don't know what to think about this town, to be honest, it's not that bad but it's not home to me either. Mom used to talk about Shakespeare a lot. She grew up here, sadly, I don't have any memories of her here. Dad doesn't even talk about her, he should though. He should be the one talking to us about her. It's only been a month, I don't even know how I'm assessing the situation. I feel like she's still with me, teasing me about all the dates I would go on, and the memories of us cooking together. Now, there's nothing and I can't believe that. She was my Mother—is my Mother. I miss her.

I rub my eyes so I don't end up crying. I cry a lot and I know boys shouldn't cry. I get up from my bed, kneel down to open the luggage. The first thing on top of it is my favourite hoodie. It's blue and it says love is unexpected on the left side of the chest. Mom sewed it on my hoodie, that's why it's my favourite.

I'm hungry. I don't think I've eaten anything since this morning, and all I ate was a protein bar.

Break time!

You didn't even do anything that you're taking break already.

I go downstairs. Hopefully there's something to eat, something not packaged or old. I should cook for both Veronica and I now. Thinking of her, where is she?

The front door opens as soon as I think that. Is she like in my head? Creepy.

"Ver?" She stumbles in, looking... high.

"Cass! I've been looking for you," her eyes are hooded and she smells bad.

"Where were you?" My voice wavers as I try to keep it stern as possible. "As much as I love hanging out with you," she lets out a loud burp. I scrunch my nose and she smiles, "I have friends of my own."

Friends or people to get wasted with? "Let's get you to bed." I grab onto her arm to make sure she doesn't fall, she pushes me away. "No, no. Let's get you to bed. You're tired."

"Okay, how about we get you to bed first and then I'll go to sleep too?" She nods, "Sounds good!"

I struggle to get help her walk up the stairs, not only is she high, she's drunk. She slumps one one of the stairs and I sigh. God, I can't even with her right now.

She starts crying. I sit beside her on the stairs, "Why'd you get wasted?" She sniffles, "Do you remember that time when Mom used to tell us that story during the sunset?"

"The one about the birds?"

Her head rests on my shoulders, "I used to think she was talking about Dad, when she told us about the birds," she lets in another sniffle, "but she was talking about us."

The bird story was an iconic in our childhood. Mom used to tell us it when the sun was setting. It was always about these two birds who met when they were little, grew up together, but ended up moving far away from each other. One bird witnessed a fire and the other put on the fire. It was a scary story but the two birds survive and end up finding their way back to each other after it ends.