WAKE UP

11

"I'm back." I heard someone say from behind me.

I turned around, and saw Beastboy carrying about 5 bags on each arm from the store.

I got up quickly, feeling a guilty feeling spread throughout my body.

"I'm sorry," I said softly. "Here, I can help you." I attempted to grab a bag with my shaky hands.

"It's all good." he said as he placed the bags on the table.

He went searching through them, checking each bag.

"I'm really sorry," I said again. "If I would have known, I would have helped you carry the bags in." I felt terrible that he carried them all in by himself.

"Don't be sorry. It's seriously okay. Oh," he reached his hand down into a bag, and pulled out a tiny bottle with a purple design. "This was the last one they had."

He handed it to me, and it was my lavender essential oil.

"Thank you so much," I smiled at the bottle and then back at him. "Seriously."

"Don't mention it." he started to set the groceries on the table to be put away.

"Here," I grabbed a box of pop tarts. "I can help you put them away."

"No, you need to rest, dude. You don't look so good," he said, but immediately began to defend himself. "I didn't mean it like that! You look fine, you just look sick. But... you don't look bad... you just—"

"Stop," I rubbed my head. "I understand what you meant."

He said I looked... fine?

What does that mean?

Tears filled my eyes, and one almost slipped out.

Why am I about to cry?

Why now?

"Beastboy?" I said in a soft voice.

"Hm?" he continued to put the food in the refrigerator.

"When," I cleared my throat. I cannot believe I'm about to ask him this. "When you first met me, what did you think of me?"

"Why are you asking?"

"Just curious." I halfway lied.

"I mean..." he paused, thinking of an answer.

"I'm sorry. You don't have to answer it if you don't want to." I sat down at the kitchen table, my legs feeling weak.

"No it's okay," he said. "When I first met you, I thought you were shy. I guess you still are in some ways, but um... yeah. Just shy."

He still continued to put the groceries away.

My fingers tapped the table nervously, and I felt a tear bubble in the corner of my eye.

"Okay..." I rubbed my eyes so the tear wouldn't escape. "What do you think about me now?"

He paused again, thinking of what to say.

"I think you're a great friend." he said, keeping to short and sweet.

I clenched my fist together, trying hard not to cry.

"What's something you would change about me?" My knuckles turned white as snow.

"Nothing."

"Nothing?" I asked again, making sure I heard to right.

"Yeah," he began. "I mean I wish you would not get so mad about things, but, that's who you are. That makes you who you are. I don't like it when Cyborg leaves the Xbox on all night, but I wouldn't change that about him. I don't like it was Starfire makes her weird snacks, but I wouldn't change that about her. I don't like it when Robin gets in his stupid controlling moods, but I wouldn't change that. It makes them who they are. So everything you do makes you who you are. And I like who you are, so I wouldn't change anything."

I tear managed to slide down my cheek, and down my chin.

I wiped my face so he wouldn't notice.

"Is it okay if I ask you one more question?" I accidentally sniffled.

He looked over, and saw I was on the verge of tears.

"Why are you crying?" he asked, worried. He quit putting the groceries away and cane over to the table.

"I don't know," I sniffled again, wiping my face. "I'm sorry. I... I shouldn't be."

"Don't be sorry." he said gently.

Before he could say anything else, I asked my question.

"What would you change about my physical form?" I asked as my hands shook.

"Are you talking about like... your body? As in how you look?" he asked gently.

I nodded.

"I would change the fact that you're sick," he chuckled. I slightly smiled too. "But seriously, I wouldn't change anything. Purple is pretty cool, dude."

By now, my eyes swelled up as each word left his mouth.

I covered my mouth with my hand, and closed my eyes.

He didn't say anything, he just let me cry for awhile.

"That's all I needed to know." I got up, feeling dizzy at soon as I lifted my body from the chair.

"Rae," he said. "Has someone been saying things to you? Things that you should change about yourself?"

"People have been saying I should change my whole life." I dryly stated.

"Well I don't think you should change."

"Thank you for that." I tried to walk out of the room, grabbing my bottle of essential oil.

My stomach all of the sudden, felt the urge to throw up.

How could I throw up? There's nothing in me.

"Wait," he tried to get my attention. "Are you sure you're okay?

"Yes, I'm-" my knees felt weak.

I felt contents shoot up my throat, and out my mouth.

I threw up on the floor, and my knees were about to give out.

I looked over, and luckily none landed on Beastboy but, he looked petrified.

I knees gave out and I almost hit the ground.

Before I could, Beastboy caught me.

"Dude..." I heard him mumble to himself.

I felt him take one of his arms, and place it where my knees bent, and slowly lifted me off of the ground.

I think he was taking me to the couch, but I wasn't sure.

Everything seemed to be tilting sideways, and I heard a loud ringing in my left ear.

"I'm sorry..." I tried to say.

"Don't be." he said assuringly.

I felt him lay me down of the couch, and he left immediately.

I sighed, laying my head on the arm rest.

He returned with a trash can, mouthwash, and a wet wash cloth.

"Here," he handed me a cup with mouth wash.

I took it, and I put it in my mouth, swished it, and then spit it out in the trash can.

He then took the wet cloth, and placed it on my head.

I sighed, feeling somewhat a relief.

"Get some sleep." he said right before he left.

I gladly did as I was told, and closed my eyes.