WAKE UP

16

The first thing I was aware of was the pain in my head, it throbbed.

It felt as if an animal were clawing at my skull, trying to get out.

All I could see was the peach color that was on the back of my eyelids, I tried to open my eyes, but the light from the window was too bright.

The pain in my head now became something in the background.

I slowly adjusted my eyes to the light, still feeling some pain but not near as bad as before.

My fingers searched, along with my eyes.

I was in the med wing, with the sheets of the bed covering my shoulders.

I slowly sat up, grabbing my head in agony.

When I looked up, I saw Beastboy sitting in the chair beside the bed, dozing off, his chin to his chest.

I was confused for a brief moment, not realizing why I was out here, or what got me here.

'Freak.'

'Monster.'

My eyes widened.

I remember it.

I remember waiting for the feeling of my bones cracking against the ground.

I remember wanting to see the blood pour out of my body and make love with the dirt.

But I was stopped.

He stopped me.

And I was still alive.

My frustration began to feel like hundreds of pounds on my shoulders.

An animalistic scream left my throat, a shriek that was only controlled by my anger and frustration.

I curled myself into a ball, and gripped my hair tightly, almost pulling it out of my scalp.

"Raven!" I heard Beastboy call. "Raven! What's wrong? Are you in pain?"

I ignored him, and hugged my midsection as hysterical sobs began to make my body shake.

"D-die... I jus-t... wanted to... die!" I choked between my sobs, banging my fists on my head.

For a few moments, my body was made of nothing but emotion and stress.

"Raven! Raven look at me!" he tried to pull my fists from me, but I yanked them back, hugging my midsection again.

I let out another animalistic scream, remembering how I'm not supposed to be here.

I'm supposed to be a pile of nothing in the grass.

I felt him crawl beside me in the bed, and he wrapped his arms around my shaking shoulders tightly so I couldn't move my arms, or my whole body.

I lifted my head, teary eyed and confused, trying to process what was happening.

Before I had really time to think, and in a moment of desperation, I dissolved myself into his arms, burying my face in his shoulder and sobbing hard.

He rubbed circles on my back as I let out more screams and sobs, not speaking a word and just seemed to soak in everything as a sponge.

"Freak... I'm a freak! Why... why did you... stop me!?" I pulled back, looking in his green eyes with disbelief and hurt.

"Raven..." he tried to calm me down, but I interrupted him.

"I-I shouldn't be h-here. I'm... I'm- a m-monster!" I pawed desperately at his chest, as if somehow that would relieve the overwhelming emotion and anguish that was taking ahold of my body.

He said nothing once again, and he clutched me close to his body again, making sure that I couldn't move my arms to harm myself further.

I once again buried myself into his embrace, squeezing the fabric of his shirt through my fingers.

I let out another scream into his shoulder, tears soaking his shirt.

His hand kept rubbing the same small circles on my back.

"I- I'm s-s-so worthless I-"

"Shh..." he tried to soothe. "It's okay."

He began to rock my body gently.

He rocked me as I rode out the war in my own mind, and the screams and sobs leaving my body eventually dying down.

I slowly resorted to hiccuping and shaky breaths.

He still continued to rub my back, and rock my body softly, holding me tightly to him.

My exhaustion took over, and everything went dark.
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Welp...