Dead and Not Buried

I'm Dead, and hes a Jerk- The night it changed.

*Flashback*

1 year ago

Everything changed.

Okay, I wasn’t drunk. I was tipsy. There was a difference.

I managed to put my key in the lock, and open my front door, stumbling in and then turning around to call the door a bad name for causing me to stumble. Yes, I did blame the door for my poor clumsiness.

I had just got back from Eve’s; all in all I had a good day. School went by quick, and there were a few humorous moments that involved a food fight in the cafeteria, which I am proud to say I started.

They served pie. They have only themselves to blame.

Anyway, I didn’t even get in trouble because no one could prove I started it, then after school me and Eve went straight back to hers, raided her mums drink cabinet and decided to toast on a good school day with a few glasses of wine.

It was just gone 10pm when I got home; suddenly remembering we have school tomorrow.

All in all, it was a good day.

Boy, I spoke way too soon.

 

“Oh yes!” I heard a faint moan coming from down the corridor. I shot my head around, it was dark in the hallway and I don’t know why, but I suddenly thought there was a burglar in my house.

Why I would assume a burglar would be moaning ‘oh yes’ in the middle of a robbery still baffles me to this day.

I grabbed one of the umbrellas out the pot by the door, and held it up like a sword, making my way towards the faint noise I could hear.

So, if I really was getting burgled by a maniac, my weapon of choice is an umbrella. Smart hey?

I realised the noises were coming from the kitchen, and taking one deep breath to boost my confidence, stormed through the door screaming like a ninja that I certainly wasn’t.

My screams immediately stopped as I witnessed the sight in front of me. I was literally trying to hold down sick as I saw my mother on the kitchen table having sex with some man I’d never seen before in my life.

The man jumped off of her; obviously my screaming had scared the crap out of him. My mum got to her feet, and they both looked over at me trying to find something to say.

“Leah I wasn’t expecting you back until later!” my mum exclaimed, clearly out of breath.

They were both naked, and the man quickly put his hands over his privates in a poor attempt to cover himself up. My mum’s method however was more effective, and she grabbed the table cloth and whipped it off, wrapping it around her body.

“Clearly.” I stated in disgust. “You do realise we are going to have to burn this kitchen right? Cos I'm never eating anything that’s been made in here ever again.”

“Leah you weren’t meant to see this-” my mum started, but I cut her off.

“In that case why the hell didn’t you do him in your bedroom, where god intended you to?!” I yelled. My mum stared at me, obviously struggling to find words. “Are you really that desperate you will screw anyone, including this Pirates of the Caribbean reject?”