𝐋𝐢𝐯𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐦𝐲 𝐃𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐦//𝐌.𝐋.𝐌

𝑺𝒆𝒗𝒆𝒏-𝑨𝒍𝒍𝒊𝒔𝒐𝒏 𝑭𝒍𝒂𝒔𝒉𝒃𝒂𝒄𝒌

16th of March 2015

I couldn't sleep last night. My brother had put me to bed very early and we hadn't had a call from the hospital. I was extremely worried.

It was 6am when I finally got the courage to go downstairs to see my dad. I heard that he hadn't come upstairs yet so I went to check if he was ok.

As I walked down the stairs I could make out faint snores but in between those snores were sobs. I think he was having a bad dream.

I let him be when I saw that he was actually asleep and went to my brothers room. I knocked on his door lightly and pushed it open. "James?" I mumbled.
"Mhm." He hummed. He was acting like he was half asleep when in actual fact, he hadn't slept like me.
"Can I..." I trailed off, letting the tears that had been building up in my eyes flow free.

James pats the spot next to him in his bed and wraps his arms around me. When I finally stop crying I see him staring down at me, lost in thought.

Suddenly, a loud ringing ran through the house. The home phone was going off. There was a thud downstairs, followed by a quiet "fuck". My dad picked up the phone almost immediately.

James and I rushed to the top of the stairs and stayed silent, listening to everything he was saying.
"H-hello?" My dad asks. After a long pause he speaks again only managing to get a few words out.
"Oh, oh my. O-ok." He hangs up the phone and puts it back.

I look at James, tears filling his eyes. I hear a big sigh from downstairs followed by sobs.
James rushes down the stairs, I'm quick to follow, and embrace my dad in a big bear hug.

"I'm sorry." He pulls away from the hug. "It's only bad news. She was in critical condition overnight and she had another seizure. She choked on her sick a passed away. There wasn't anything they could do."

I pull back, getting up off of the sofa where we were all comforting each other. I look blankly from my dad to my brother, both of them were emotionless, like all the light had just been sucked out of the world.
I start to feel sick and hurry to grab shoes from the rack.
"Allison?" My dad asks.
"I'm going out." I say running upstairs to get changed.
"No!" My dad shouts behind me, sternly.
I don't listen to him and rush out the door as fast as I can. No phone, no money. Just me trying to clear my head.

I walk for a little while, trying to find somewhere I could be safe and cry. After considering what I could do I decided walking to Willow's would be best.

It took about 15 minutes to walk there as we lived in a different, more spacey house then.
I knocked on the door and Willows mum answered.
"Allison?!" She's shocked when she sees me. I'm not surprised she's up. She likes being early.

When she gets a better look at me she brings me inside. I didn't know what to say.
"Do you want me to wake up Willow?" She asks, sitting me down on a sofa in her front room.
"No, not until I've told you." I said between sobs.

She goes quiet and sits down next to me.
"M-my." I couldn't do it. Even saying it hurt. I calmed myself down again.
"My mum j-just died last night." I burst out in tears. I don't think she knew what to do. She just sat there in shock for about a minute before wrapping her arms around me. I could hear her sniffing and her breathing started to quicken a little.

"Mum? Wha- Ally?" Willow said rubbing her eyes.
"Are you two alright?" She asks curiously as I pull away from her mum to wipe my tears.
"Willow, I need to talk to you outside for just a second." Her mum says standing up, walking out of the room and closing the door behind them.

I couldn't hear what they were saying until sobs filled my ears. The door flung open and I was attacked into the tightest hug I have ever received.

By the end of the day, they had both tried everything in their power to make me happy and sometimes it worked for a split second and then I would be sad again. I went home later, a tiny bit happier than I was when I left.