simp (katsuki bakugo x reader)

𝕗𝕠𝕣𝕖𝕚𝕘𝕟𝕖𝕣

"Chicken wing, chicken wing, hot dog and baloney, chicken and macaroni..." Y/N hummed as Mina finished doing her hair. The pink-haired woman leaned to the side to get a better look at the bride, grinning.

  "You excited for your big day, babes?"

  Y/N grinned back, turning to face her. "Is my dick big?"

  "Hell yeah it is."

  "Then you already know!"

  The two women giggled, when someone burst into the room, panting. It was Uraraka. She looked up at Y/N, eyes wide like a crackhead's.

  "Y/N! You're like five minutes late!"

  "Uhhhhhhh...no I'm not?" Y/N chuckled nervously, shooting out of her seat and speedwalking out of the room. Mina and Uraraka followed her, lifting up the tail of her dress so it wouldn't get stepped on. Y/N's father stood at the front of the entrance, sighing tiredly and chuckling slightly as he stared at her.

  "Only my own daughter would be almost late to her own wedding."

  "Almost?" Y/N said confusedly, linking her arm with his.

  "I knew you would procrastinate before getting ready, so I had your friend rush you out. The wedding just started."

  Y/N's mind flashed back to before she got dressed and got her makeup on. She and Mina had done TikTok dances and T-posed for a good two hours, then proceeded to prank call Papa John's and ask them where their "cum chalice" was. She laughed sheepishly, rubbing the back of her neck.

  "Uh, yeah. You right, you right."

  Her father chuckled as he walked her down the aisle, ignoring the confused faces of the wedding attendees as the Sofia the First theme song played, echoing throughout the large plaza. Y/N giggled softly, silently thanking the DJ for listening to her request for her wedding music. Kao and Koyama walked beside her, one holding a basket of flowers and the other holding the rings. Kao grumbled as he threw the flowers, scowling at the people in the seats and making them shiver. He was forced to wear a pink chiffon dress, because Y/N wanted to have a "femboy flower girl" and because Katsuki found it amusing.

  Katsuki stared at her as she was led towards him, a light blush dusting his face.
Even thought she still had the same crackhead behavior, she was especially beautiful today. A long, lacy white wedding dress covered her body, the tail dragging behind her like a dragon's tail. She held a bouquet of sunflowers in her hands, because in her words, "roses are for people with small peepees". A thin white veil covered her face, but Katsuki could still see her bright smile and the sparkle in her eyes as she stared up at him. Aizawa, who was acting as the minister, sighed and took a swig from his flask, before starting to speak.

"Everyone, we are gathered here today to witness the marriage between two people; Katsuki Bakugo and Y/N L/N."

Everyone in the seats started to clap as Y/N smiled happily at them, and Bakugo scowled at them as Koyama held out the pillow with the rings on it.

"Uh, yeah. Y/N didn't want this to be a long, formal wedding, so I'll keep it short. Y/N L/N, do you take Katsuki Bakugo to be your lawfully wedded husband, in sickness and in health, till death do you part?"

Y/N gave Katsuki a Debby Ryan smirk, pushing her hair behind her ears. "Is Gordon Ramsay sexy—"

"Just say 'I do'." Aizawa grumbled, taking yet another swig from his flask. Y/N pouted, but nevertheless complied, smiling up at Katsuki normally this time as she slipped the ring onto his thick finger.

"I do."

"And Katsuki Bakugo, do you take Y/N L/N to be your lawfully wedded wife...you know the rest."

Katsuki stared down at the small woman in front of him, his heart thumping wildly in his chest. He took in a deep breath, carefully sliding the ring onto her small, slender finger as his face flushed.

"I-I do."

Aizawa hummed, giving him a thumbs up. "Then kiss her already, Lord Explosion Murder."

"Shut up, old fart, this is my wedding!" Katsuki snapped, then grabbed Y/N by the waist and pulled her in for a kiss. The crowd cheered as the now married couple kissed, confetti shooting out of small cannons onto them. Endeavor sobbed and blubbered, wiping the flowing tears from his eyes with a Hello Kitty embroidered handkerchief. Hawks clapped as he walked over to the tables with food on them, quickly grabbing a chicken wing and starting to eat.

  Katsuki pulled away from his new wife, smirking down at her. "You think this is a good time to make the announcement?"

  Y/N grinned up at him, eyes sparkling. "Fuck yeah it is."

  The small woman turned to the bustling crowd, grabbing the microphone from Aizawa and tapping it.

  "Testing, testing, penis penis penis...okay, hi guys! Um, so we have a big announcement, and y'all are gonna love this one."

  Hawks stopped eating his chicken wing, Endeavor and Midoriya stopped crying like  little bitches, Kao stopped punching the basket of flowers, Koyama stopped sniffing people's asses, Mineta and Kaminari stopped grabbing people's boobs, Todoroki stopped talking to himself, Kirishima stopped drinking the Kool-Aid, and Mina stopped slipping food into her purse, everyone listening intently. Y/N took a deep breath, grinning and smacking her stomach.

  "I'M PREGNANT, BITCHES!!"

  Everyone's jaws dropped, and Y/N's parents choked on their organic tofu, staring mortified at their crackhead of a daughter.

  "WHAT?!"

  "Ok, now this is epic. Um, see y'all later! Enjoy the food 'n stuff, me and Katsuki are gonna go on our honeymoon early!"

  Katsuki scooped up Y/N in his arms, quickly walking down the aisle and starting to walk out of the plaza towards the limousine they had rented. Y/N grinned and threw the bouquet in the air, letting it fall into the hands of Pixiebob, who had crashed the wedding. The cat-like woman giggled insanely, whipping her head towards Kao. He stared at her with horror, watching as she stalked towards him. He whimpered, backing up as Foreigner blasted from the speakers.

  "Rrrr...foreigner...foreigner..."

  The last thing the married couple heard before driving off was "I'M 18 AT HEART!", and then they were off to start their new life as husband and wife.