"She's experiencing loneliness"

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Jessica's parents knew exactly where they want her daughter to go to school, so they decided to contact the school's psychologist. They thought the sooner they look for help the better.

The first appointment went to a few hours. The psychologist, in her middle age, asked questions about Jessica mainly from her parents. Questions about how Jessica used to spend her time before going to kindergarten, how she behaved, how many friends she has, what activities she prefers, what toys she prefers, but also questions for her parents, they relationship, how often they argue, and them as a family, how they spend time together, how much time they spend together, how they spend their casual days or holidays.

Jessica's parents told the psychologist that Jessica was always an easy going child, never being too loud nor behaving bad, that she was and is always quiet, rather playing alone in her room, also played alone on the playgrounds, not interacting with any other children, how they days go, how they rotate when taking her to kindergarten. One day her dad takes her there and home, once her mother,  how they eat together everyday by table, talking about their days or any other topic, how they'd sometimes play board games, but also how they don't have any conflicts, how they don't yell at each other nor Jessica, then they told the psychologist about Jessica's kindergarten years up until the whole Brandon incident and what happened after in detail, how she'd eat less and less, how she'd talk as less as possible and how she got upset.

"Well from what you told me, it looks like your daughter Jessica only sees the good in people and she seems to be naive and easily trusts anyone and gets emotionally attached easily and quickly. Let me explain. 

The model you two gave her as parents in her first years determined how she sees all and other social relations. This meaning you two were nice, loving and supportive and she thinks everyone she meets is the same. It's the same case as if a person only experienced bad relationships, they think every other relationship they'll have will be the same as the ones before. 

To me it seems like she got attached to this Brandon kid because he was the first one to notice her. This can be very dangerous because she may get attached to anyone, even a classmate who asks to borrow a pen. But she should eventually learn by social interaction and should develop normally. She's still very young so I suggest we wait to see where things go from when she starts going to school. 

I've met with a similar scenario like Jessica here few years ago. The other girl actually grew up distancing herself from other people, she wouldn't trust anyone or anything. I've seen what our appointments did to her. They only worsened her mental health. Even though she needed a help she did not need an actual help. If you'd be forcing a person into social contact it could also go wrong. 

The girl was an introvert and was happier to be alone but trying to get her into some social contact only made her more upset and angrier. Also forcing someone to talk about their problems or feelings is not a good idea. We should show some empathy but let the person speak first and not ask too much. Let them speak.

But as I said earlier Jessica is still too young, so you definitely need to ask her how she feels and what's the problem. But once she gets into puberty, a very problematic age on its own, do not force to talk, just observe her behavior. Let her tell you what's happening, what is wrong. 

She may look depressed in puberty but that's normal. There's a depression and a teenager depression, which almost every teen goes through, these would be the times when they look sad, wouldn't do anything, would avoid interaction or look excessively for any contact, would be suicidal, but this teenager depression will pass after a few weeks. I suggest we do another appointment once she is 14, also the age she'd be leaving this school for high school. I'll do my part while she visits this school by observing her at lunch, during breaks and sometimes I'll be on their lessons. And when she's 14 I'll give her some test which will show us if she has any mental problems. Since she's still developing and her most important development will last until she's around her 20s this sad current behavior of hers may pass after a few weeks. Sadness to loss or just sadness in general is a natural reaction for all of us, we aren't constantly happy, that includes children, so don't worry about it too much."

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