Toxic

That's Kinda The Whole Point

-From your POV-

There were a lot of goons working so the entire room was finished in about 2 hours. It was painted a dark grey, almost Black. I walked around it, inspecting every inch, with my arms crossed and my head nodding. "Well done, leave now." I say and they quickly shuffle out. I decided now that I needed some decor to match the room. I asked one of the goons in the hallway where Joker was and he told me that he was in his office, so that's where I went. 

The door was open so I walked in. Joker took his attention up from his phone to look at me. "Knock much?" he asked annoyed.

"Knock knock." I say aloud as I continue walking over to his desk. "Up for a shopping spree?" I ask him.

"Can't you see I'm busy." he says as he smiles and points to the pile of literal nothing on his desk. I roll my eyes at his response.

"'Kay, so car keys then?" I say as I stretch my hand out. He starts laughing and then when he realizes I'm not budging, his laugh turns to a straight face. He then rolls his eyes and lightly smacks his hands down on his desk. 

"Shopping spree it is then." He says as he begins to stand up from his desk. I nod my head.

"I'm going to get changed, I'll be ready in five minutes." I say as I start to leave the room.

"But doll, you look fine. " he says with a giant smile. I roll my eyes and turn back around, my back to him.

From over my shoulder as I lean the room, I shout "Not in your wildest dreams, clown bastard." I flick him off before I'm completely out of the room. 

After changing into jeans and a denim jacket, I made my way out into the hall where Joker was already waiting, un-amused, outside of my door.  "Doll, you look great." he says. 

"Of course I do, bastard." I hear him pretend to get excited.

"Not clown bastard?? Doll, I think you love me." he says with a laugh. I just sigh and we continue walking out to his garage.

We went to an IKEA in a nearby city (knowing neither of us were quite welcome in Gotham) and I began picking out comforters for my bed. Joker unenthusiastically followed me around and kept suggesting I buy purple and green themed decorations. Idiot. After about forty minutes, I picked out lamps,rugs, and a bed-spread that would match the theme of my room. We kept continuing on in the store as people stared and pointed. Some even went out of their way to avoid us at all costs. Guess he's more popular than I thought. "Thinking what I'm thinking?" I ask Joker in a low tone, but with an evil grin. I watch as the corners of his mouth turn back to a huge grin.

"Doll, I like your thinking." with that confirmation, we just walk straight out of the exit and into the parking lot. Store alarms and store associates were going crazy and trying to stop us, but it was useless. We quickly found a way to somehow shove everything into his car and then he started driving off, speeding and laughing manically. 

We were almost back to the mansion when a familiar black vehicle appears from behind us. "Hm. Looks like Bat-Boy is making an appearance." I say in a calm tone as I watch out the rear view mirror. Joker practically breaks his neck as he snaps his head to the mirror, and then starts laughing again.

"Yay! So glad we could have a play date!" Joker says before stepping on the gas even harder. He reaches into the gun holster on his belt and hands the gun to me. "Wanna play, doll?" I examine the weapon in his hand and then nod. I roll down my window and stick my upper body out, so Batman and I were now facing each other. I shot clean shots into each tire of the Bat-Mobile, watching as the Dark Knight frantically looks at  his tire. I smile as I watch him putter out and hear Joker laughing in the background. I pull myself back into the car, reloading the clip and rolling up the window as Joker keeps driving excitedly.  "That was your first Bat encounter after the pen, how does it feel doll?" he asks me with wide eyes. I shrug.

"Like every other encounter we've had. Well, except for one." I say in a flat tone. Joker raises his eyebrows, signaling that he wanted to learn more about the one exception. "Before I became so cutthroat and before he connected the dots on who my dad was, he wanted to take me under his wing. Literally."

"Doll, you had the chance to become Robin ?" he asks half amused. 

"Mhm. Imagine how awkward it became when he was pursuing my dad and I went after Robin." Joker starts laughing even harder at what I said, even though it wasn't really a joke.

"Then what happened?" he asked, expecting the story to continue. I shrugged.

"Well, after that I had- something, going on with someone else so that was it. Nothing more." I say flatly. His amusement turns to a weird fusion of irritation and confusion. 

"Something?" he asks in a low growl. I roll my eyes. God men are so stupid.

"Yes, an arrangement with a CIA agent." Joker seems to be getting more irritated and curious as I continue. His interrogation intensifies by the minute.

"So a boyfriend? Sounds like a boyfriend." he asks. I throw my head down and start shaking it while smiling.

"No, I don't date. Never gotten into an actual relationship." his tone eases down at those words.

"Why not?" he follows up.

"My God a I being investigated??" I exhale deeply before answering. "I'm not capable of loving so there's no point. I can't get hurt so I just do what I want." I say. He starts chuckling.

"Player instead of the played?" he asks.

"You should know." I say back flatly. He has a death grip on my wrist at those words.

"Watch who you're talking to, doll." he growls. By this point, I don't know who he thinks he is or who he thinks I am, but mama ain't raise no punk bitch. I look at his hand and scoff as I twirl out the mini dagger I kept attached to my belt loop. I swirl it around in a circle before stabbing his hand. He immediately yanks his away from my wrist and tries to keep control of the steering wheel as he screams and curses. My reaction to his reaction is non-existent; I just shake my head and sigh.

"Can't say I never warned you." I say emotionless. He's swerving over the road now, very clearly distracted from his driving.

"You're a bitch." he spits out. I nod my head.

"That's the point." I say with another sigh. "For Christ sake let me drive." I say after he continues swerving in and out, trying to not bleed all over his luxury car. He hesitates for a moment but then realizes how much he's bleeding and pulls over. I roll my eyes and take my belt off as I stand up out of the car and throw it at his chest. He catches it with his good hand and just holds his angry stare at me.  We both get back into the car and I start driving. Soon, his evil frowning scowl turns into an evil laugh that's deep and continues on for quite some time. 

"When we get home, you and I have some fighting to do."  he growls.

"Bite me." I say back.

"Oh don't threaten me with a good time.".