Toxic

I Hear Bells and Storks

-From your POV-

I sat on the floor of the bathroom with my back against the wall and my head resting on top of my knees. I kept rereading the document. There was no way. This was never in my plans for the future. Especially not with J, of all people. This wasn't just a minor setback, it was a major setback. I mean, I was already on the cusp of retiring anyways, but if I were to keep the kid that means I'd definitely have to give it up. My dad worked the whole time I was a kid and all though he kept what he did vague, I knew he was always in danger and it made me worry a lot. That was the other thing; I had no idea if I was going to keep it or not. I mean sure, I could just waltz into Gotham and blackmail some clinic into giving me an abortion without saying anything to J, but deep down I know that would never work.

Some very small speck of me knows that he would feel some type of way if I just shut him out of my life like that when he's most definitely a factor in this. Especially since he decided he wants to get married. This was just all so complicated. Nothing could have complicated things more than a baby. I felt the back of my throat hardening and start stinging. Usually, I hated crying, but I was all alone so I might as well.

At first, the tears were just silently rolling out. But gradually, small gasps escaped and those were morphing into long orchestrated-sounding sobs. I was so caught up that I didn't even remember the armored suit helmet's had a radio inside of them. I flinched when I heard gunshots ringing out from the inside of the helmet. Luckily, my end was muted so nobody could hear me cry. Those shots were followed up by some chatter back and forth between J and some of his men. I put my face back in my knees and tuned them out when my ear caught something. "Anybody seen where my doll is? I have something for her." J asks over the radio. He's responded to by a bunch of no's and nuh uh's. I sniffle up and clear my throat, preparing to speak, into the radio so he doesn't think I died and start burning the entire city down.

"I'm uh- taking care of something, at Arkham. What's up?" I ask him.

"Arkham?? You know what- not the point right now. I'm coming to you, sit tight doll." he says confidently. I sniffle one more time before answering.

"Okay."

"Doll- are you okay?" he asks concerned.

"Yeah," I clear my throat. "I'm alright, J." I reassure him. He takes that as confirmation and then goes silent while I stay on the floor, still figuring out what I'm going to say.

J had got in here in like ten minutes and asked me where I was over the radio and I told him the third floor women's bathroom. He thought it was weird, but I just told him to come in because my legs still felt too numb to walk. He walked in and pulled off the entire helmet as he looked around the room in confusion. It was barely lit by the one flashlight I had and there were paper still scattered in front of me. Once his eyes saw me sitting on the ground, his gaze intensified. "Doll, what's happened??" he asks me. My eyes were still puffy from crying and my nose was still tinged pink, but the tears themselves had stopped a while ago. I tilt my head to my side, signalling for him to sit, and he does. He sits down besides me and looks at me in concern.

"Did you want to give me something first?" I ask him. His expression does not change at all.

"No, you go first. Tell me what happened, what's wrong so I can fix it right away." he says seriously. I wanted to just spit it straight out, but I kept choking on the words. I glanced over somewhere and grabbed the paper with the blood results on it and passed it to him where he began scanning over it with his eyes.

"So I ran into the nurse that has treated me both times that I've been here on her way out and she gave me my entire medical file and told me to look through it." I begin explaining. I watch as his eyes move lower and lower to the paper, almost hitting the jackpot. "And I did." I say softly, right as his entire body- eyes included- freeze. He sits still for a moment before looking up at me.

"Pregnancy?" he asks. I just nod and feel my eyebrows tilt towards each other and my lips twist into a frown, like I'm about to start crying again. I was trying to keep a strong face in front of him, but he could see right through it and pulled my head to his chest, causing me to start bawling immediately.

I cried into his chest until I didn't have any tears left to cry. Once I stopped crying and started working on getting my breaths back to normal, I noticed J had been stroking my hair to try and calm me down. After a few minutes when I'm all cried out and my breathing was silent and normal, I heard him speak. "Do you know how far along?" he asks softly. I lift my head up so I can face him again.

"No, no idea." I tell him. He looks like he's thinking for a minute and then hesitates to speak.

"Do you have any idea what you want to do yet?" he asks even softer. I shake my head and shrug.

"No idea." I say.

"Well, I felt like it already goes without saying that it'll be fully provided for, doll face." he says. I'm almost slightly taken aback by his words. He was for it?? I'll admit, I didn't expect J to be the type to want me to keep it. My eyebrows furrow a bit.

"You want me to keep it?" I ask him. His eyes deepen.

"Well- ultimately doll, the choice is always going to be yours. But if you're asking me if I'd want a kid, then yes, actually. I would." he admits. My eyebrows went up and he looked at me in confusion. "Why?? Did you not expect me to say that?" he says. I can hear the tiniest hint of hurt i his tone.

"No, I didn't know what to expect at all, actually." I say.

"Well, I'm just as surprised as you are, but if any woman was going to have my child at some point, I guess you're a good candidate." he says. I elbow him in the side and he chuckles and I grin. I put my head back against the wall and then turn my head to look at him.

"So, what did you come to give me?" I ask him. His face lights up as I remind him and he starts shuffling through one of the pockets on his suit.

"Gloves off." he tells me. I pull my gloves off and show him my bare hands and he pulls out a handful of rings. "Wasn't sure which one you would like the most, so I just took all of them." he says. I look at the handful and try to stifle my laughter, but it doesn't work and soon, I'm cackling and throwing my head back in laughter. "Mhm. I didn't even say anything funny." he says, which makes me laugh even more. I finally catch my breath and look at him again.

"Mhm sure you didn't." I say before looking back down to his hand and examining the rings closely. I decide on this one that has a silver band with small diamonds all on the outside and is topped off with a small decal that is shaped like the sun and made of a bunch of smaller diamonds. It just barely fits on my ring finger, but it's whatever. He smiles and hums in content.

"I would go return the rest, but.." he just shrugs and I giggle. Just then, a voice comes over the radio in J's helmet.

"Boss, chopper's here." Scott informs through the radio. J slides the rest of the rings into his pocket and puts his helmet back on. He stands to his feet and helps me to mine. Before we leave, I grab the papers and put them back in the folder, carrying them in one hand, and holding J's hand in the other one.