Toxic

Fool Me Once, Fool Me Twice

-From your POV-

My eyes weren't open and I couldn't hear, all I could feel was the rawness of my vocal cords from me screaming. I didn't snap my eyes open until I felt strong hands shaking my shoulders. "Doll, it's okay." his blue eyes that usually were intimidating or calculating were saddened and concerned. I leaned into his arms, laying my head halfway on his shoulder and his chest, crying into his chest. I felt his arms wrap around my back. One of his hands started stroking my hair and then other one was lightly rubbing my back.

Just a dream. It was just a dream. Calm down.

I hated this. I hated that I was crying. I hadn't cried in years. I hated what was going on. Not that I hated that it was a dream or that he was here to comfort me, but I hated that I was crying in front of someone. I hated that his presence was calming me down. I hated that he had this power, this effect, over me. I hated it so much. But I couldn't fight it. I kept my face buried in his chest until I felt the tears eventually come to a stop. I then pulled my face back and our eyes met right away. "I don't know what's happening to me." I whimper out. His eyes just keep looking back and forth into mine with a sense of care. He looks like he has something to say, but he just tightens his grip on me and goes back to stroking my hair, letting me rest my head back on his chest.

I have no idea how long we sat like that, but soon I heard birds chirping and felt the warm rays  pouring through the blinds. "Do you want to talk about it, doll?" he asked softly.

Yes. "No." I muttered out. "It was just a really bad nightmare is all." I say.

"Okay... Do you want me to lea-" before he even finishes I shake my head no.

"I know what you're going to say, but please, just stay here." I plead. He hesitates for a minute and then gives in, propping up pillows on the other side of the bed. I was already under the covers, but he wasn't. He quickly kicked his shoes off and slid under the covers too. He was wearing the pants from the suit earlier but was just wearing the undershirt now. He laid down on the opposite side of me and I quickly returned my head to his chest so he could continue stroking my hair. I felt my heartbeat and my breathing still going ridiculous so I had to focus really hard to return them to normal. Once I felt the stinging in my noise and lungs go away and the pounding in my chest stop, I remember just focusing on the feeling of his cold but firm hands brushing over my head and I fell asleep.

I woke up first. Before I opened my eyes, I quickly remembered that he agreed to stay, I could smell his cologne and feel the hardness of his chest under my head. I opened my eyes and lightly lifted my head, making sure to not wake him, before rolling to my side. I picked my phone and saw the time was 1PM. 1 PM?! I checked to see what Bones texted me.

Bones: Wanted to know if you wanted to come over before the job

I think about his offer for a second. I look over at J and then text him back.

Me: Preoccupied, sorry

Me: Are you okay? What happened to you last night

I set the phone back down on the nightstand and lightly slip out of bed. I walk over and close the curtains and blinds, darkening the room, to make sure that he would sleep undisturbed. I grabbed my phone and tiptoed to the kitchen. I made myself some cereal and a glass of orange juice and took it to the table. I started eating when I saw my screen light up.

Bones: Something came up

Came up?

Me: Kinda stood me up in the middle of a good song

Three dots pop up.

Bones: Have to be on a date to be stood up

Okay then, jackass.

I set my phone down and get back to eating. I finish so I had the dishes off to one of the kitchen staff and then decide to quietly sneak back into my room and get into the shower. By the nature of my job, I was good at being stealthy, so I made it to the bathroom door successfully, not seeing his large and still figure not moving at all in my bed. I gently close the bathroom door and start the faucet.

I had picked out some clothes to wear after the shower and set them down on the sink before I got in; so when I stepped out, I finished drying off and slid them on. It was one of my good black jackets that buttoned up on the side, just like my father's, and regular black pants that I had pimped out to store bullets and all types of throwing knives in different compartments on the sides. I strapped on some plain black combat boots and combed my hair out before french braiding it and stepping out into my room.

I was making sure to be quiet, but then I quickly realized he wasn't in my bed anymore and his shoes were moved. Guess he woke up. I go make the bed and then make my way to the kitchen, assuming that's where he is. I smile when I see the flash of green hair standing in the kitchen. "Good morning." I say kindly. His eyes flash to me quickly before going back to whatever he was making.

"Mmm." he hums out. Oh? I immediately picked up on his distance. But before I confirm it, I need him to confirm it.

"I don't typically do this, but, thank you." I say softly. He doesn't take his eyes up from his preparation at first.

"For what?" he says in a pointed and annoyed tone. Got it. Message received. I shake my head once.

"Nothing." I say before leaving and heading back to my room. I plopped down on my bed. So one minute its "It's okay doll" and the next its "for what?" okay you ass. He frustrated me so much. I regretted begging him to stay. I regretted literally crying to him. I regretted it all. This just proved my point that I established a long time ago that being emotionally open to people should never be an option. This was my fault for feeling like this, this time. You-know-who had done it years ago and it went South. Very South, very bad, very quickly. But you know what they say: Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. So this time, it was shame on me.

"You know better." I mumble to myself. There's no point in dwelling on it, might as well do some reversal damage control. I pull my phone out and decide to text Bones.

Me: My schedule cleared up for the day. Can I come over?

He wastes no time responding, as per usual.

Bones: Gate combination is 849

He also sends me the address , sending me up and out of my room, down the hallway. "Job isn't for another 4 hours." Joker calls out from one of the rooms.

"Hanging out with Bones until then. Don't be late." I shout out as I keep walking down the hallway and out the door to my car.

I climb inside and watch it come to life.

If you're going to be an ass than be an ass.