Jealousy (z.s.)

|a break?|

Harry tossed and turned most of the night because of how uncomfortable he was which kept Zayn up as well.

Zayn: "can't get comfortable I take it?"

Harry: "not really"

Harry sat up and rested his head against the head board.

Harry: "what time is it?"

Zayn: "like 4 in the morning"

Harry groaned. It's not like he wasn't tired, he was. He just couldn't get the thought of everything out of his head. At all.

Harry: "you can go to sleep baby"

Zayn: "I'm not gonna leave you awake, especially when I know your thoughts are running wild. Am I right?"

Harry: "unfortunately"

Zayn sat up to match Harry's stature and intertwined their fingers and sat them on top of a pillow.

Zayn: "what's worrying you the most?"

Harry: "I dunno, losing them I guess"

Zayn: "I can't lie and say I'm not nervous too...but you know that everything happens for a reason. You wouldn't be given this life if you couldn't live it babe."

Harry: "I know but the initial anxiety is there, yeah I know I'm gonna overcome this shit eventually but, the pressure of having to explain myself is suffocating."

Zayn: "that's why Paul and Julian wanted to give us time, last night was nothing short of hectic. Everyone's sleeping on the information and we're gonna talk about it tomorrow morning...well, in a few hours technically."

Harry sighed and tilted his head to rest it on Zayn's shoulder.

Harry: "I feel like everything we're doing is wrong Z"

Zayn: "don't say that"

Harry: "I feel like maybe we should lay off of each other for awhile...at least until this blows over"

Zayn shifted, causing Harry's head to fall.

Zayn: "no babe...don't talk like that"

Harry: "what we did and are doing is so fucked up, and we're losing our friends because of it Z"

Zayn: "you mean so much to me though, you can't just forget about it"

Harry: "maybe we should try, just for a little bit"

Zayn: "taking a 'break' never ends well."

Harry: "I can assure you that you're the only person that I'm in love with...that's not gonna change."

Zayn: "but you're pretty much breaking up with me"

Harry: "we were never actually in a relationship yet Zayn...you know that."

Zayn: "so what does this mean?"

Harry: "I guess it means that we should spend some time apart until this all blows over"

Zayn: "fuck..."

Zayn stood up from the bed and threw the sheets.

Harry: "where are you going?"

Zayn: "outside to smoke a few."

Harry: "you've been clean for so long"

Zayn: "I've been clean for you Harry..."

And on that note Zayn left the room. It didn't take long for Harry to realize that he not only lost Louis and Liam, but Zayn too.

He thought what he was doing was making the right decision, but who knows? None of the decisions he's been making lately have been smart.

Zayn sat outside in the pitch black with a cigarette up to his lips. He inhaled deeply, letting the foul substance spread through him.

When he looked at his phone, it was 4:45 in the morning which meant the sun would be rising soon.

Harry slid back down on the bed and decided to fall back asleep to put his mind at ease for awhile. Or so he hoped.

After smoking four cigarettes, Zayn stood up and headed back in. It was starting to lighten up outside and he didn't wanna be seen in the condition that he was.

When he got back to the room Harry was snoring peacefully, and although he was pissed that he wanted a break Zayn couldn't physically be mad at him.

When he noticed Harry was in a deep sleep, he sat beside him on the bed and clutched his hand.

Zayn: "I uh...I dunno why you're doing this bub. I don't want you to feel like you need to forget about me and what we have."

He wiped a tear from his cheek with his free hand and took a second to compose himself.

Zayn: "I hope you don't...find someone else or anything cause I really love you. I um...I kinda wanna spend the rest of my life with you. But I guess if you don't wanna be together, I'll still be happy if you're in my life at all. Um...I hope this all works out with Louis and Liam and stuff."

He was letting the tears rush down his face now, not bothering to wipe them away.

Zayn: "you'll always be my bug, and uh...even though you probably don't hear me, if you need me, I'll be here. I love you. I do. So uhm...I guess this is the end of us for now. But I'll still be thinking about you. And...just so you know baby...this is all gonna work out. So you don't have to worry anymore."

Zayn released Harry's hand and stood up off the bed. He didn't know what else to do to occupy the three hours that he had until he had to meet the boy's downstairs for breakfast, so he decided to shower.

When he was in the bathroom he found a bottle of pain killers that he'd brought with him just in case, and even though the pain he felt was all inside he popped more than he should've.

He got in the shower and took longer than normal, just letting the hot water soothe him. He wanted nothing to do with life after him and Harry's conversation early that morning.

He knew he'd get asked a ton of questions about how distant he's gonna be. And a ton of questions that he's not gonna want to answer...but that was life.

And just like he told Harry earlier...everything happens for a reason.

When he got out of the shower, Harry was still sound asleep. So he brushed his teeth, cleaned himself up and drank some water.

By the time he was all fixed up it was 7, and he knew Harry would be waking up soon.

He wrote a quick note and left the room to meet the boy's downstairs for breakfast. He was early, but he didn't mind.

Harry,

You probably don't wanna see me when you wake up, so I showered and got ready a little early. I'll be downstairs for breakfast with the lads at 8. I guess I'll see you there.

-Zayn