Jealousy (z.s.)

|tension|

He wanted to puke.

The letter Harry gave him was...sweet. Being without his company was weird though, for the past month and a half they've been stuck at the hip.

Paul wanted this day to be about rebuilding, so they were supposed to hang out by the pool and enjoy the day together.

Breakfast went by kind of quickly. Zayn and Harry didn't eat much. Just a piece of fruit here and there.

Afterwards they made their way upstairs to get their belongings to swim. Zayn left a little earlier to get dressed and get out before him and Harry had much contact. He was trying to make it easier.

He slipped on his swim trunks, even though he couldn't swim, and threw on a sleeveless top to cover his bare torso.

When Harry got upstairs he knew Zayn wouldn't be in there, and that upset him...he wasn't trying to ignore him, and Zayn thought he was.

He did the same, throwing his trunks on and heading back down to the pool.

When he got walked outside, he found Liam, Louis, and Niall...but no Zayn.

Harry took a seat next to Niall and dipped his feet into the water.

Harry: "where's Z?"

Niall: "outside smoking"

Harry: "he was so clean before"

He groaned, desperate for Zayn to stop

Niall: "haz, I get that you think this is a good idea...and that you wanna try to be apart, but the worst thing you can do is fight it."

Harry: "what do you mean?"

Niall: "you're fighting your love for him so hard. that's not healthy"

Harry: "I'm doing this to better the two relationships that I just ruined because of us Niall"

Niall: "you can do that without mentally destroying Zayn too,Harry"

Harry: "he's fine, we'll get used to it"

Niall: "says the one who's worried about him smoking...he's smoked at least three since he's been out there"

Harry: "maybe I should go talk to him"

Harry went to stand up but Niall pulled his arm back down.

Niall: "if your idea is gonna work Haz, you need to stop worrying so much about him. Let him live"

Harry: "...I can't"

Niall: "why not?"

Harry: "because I want him all the fucking time, I wanna kiss him, I want him to hold me, I want him to touch me all the time Niall. If this is what we're doing, I at least need to look at him and admire him. I need to worry about him and make sure he's okay. I need to."

Niall: "...exactly"

Harry: "huh?"

Niall: "you're so fucking infatuated with him Harry, quit fighting it and love him. Just love him and tell him that you wanna be with him. Louis and Liam will understand eventually."

Harry sighed and continued swaying his feet in the water, unsure of what he wanted to do.

After smoking his third cigarette of the morning Zayn joined them all back inside by the pool.

Louis: "hey Z, wanna come get some drinks with me?"

Zayn: "yeah sure"

Louis: "hey there's a group of cute lads over there, why don't you go sneak your number to one of them"

Harry's head jolted in their directed and his eyes met Zayn's. There was a look of pain and sheer hurt in Harry's eyes.

Zayn: "I uh...I'm not looking for anyone right now Lou, thanks though"

They made their way over to the bar and Harry watched the whole time, not wanting anyone giving Zayn the attention he wanted to give.

Niall: "Harry"

He snapped out of his trance and looked back at Niall

Niall: "if you want his attention, get it"

Harry: "it's not that easy, I can't be back and forth Ni."

Niall: "you've spent half of a day apart and you can't keep your eyes off of him...at all haz"

Harry: "I know I know, it's just hard. One minute I was making love to him and the next minute I'm trying to ignore him."

Niall: "then don't, walk over to the bar, order a drink and talk to him...he doesn't want a break either Harry, I can see it in his eyes."

Harry: "I wrote him a letter this morning..."

Niall: "about what?"

Harry: "just telling him that this is temporary and that I love him. I just wanna make it up to Liam and Louis."

Niall: "making it up to them is one thing, but you shouldn't have to disregard your happiness to make them happy either."

Harry: "I guess you're right"

Niall: "I have an idea, spend the day apart, if you absolutely can't, then just hang out with him as if you were just friends to see how it goes. If you can't stand it by tomorrow morning, than tell him how you feel. He loves you Harry."

Harry: "what do I say? I completely cut him off."

Niall: "did you see the way he responded to Louis when other guys were mentioned? You looked at him and when he saw the look on your face he was endgame. He doesn't want anyone else, so you won't have to say much before his tongue is down your throat again."

Harry: "oh my god"

Niall chuckled after trying to make light of the situation.

Niall: "look, he's sitting at the bar by himself, go have a conversation. don't make it awkward yeah?"

Harry: "okay"

Harry made his way over to the bar and took the seat right next to Zayn, he acknowledged him but didn't say anything.

Harry: "hey"

Zayn: "hey haz"

Harry: "you okay?"

Zayn: "I uh...I'm trying to be yeah. How bout you?"

Harry: "I'm struggling, but that's life. everything's a struggle"

Zayn: "unfortunately"

Harry: "I'm sorry Z"

Zayn: "for what exactly?"

Harry: "...this"

He was referring to the tension between them.

Zayn: "I know it's awkward, but it's gonna be for a little...until I figure out how to act around you. I can't just grab your hips and kiss you anymore...so I have to be careful."

Harry: "...I wish you could"

Zayn: "me too, but this is what you think is best and so I'm trying my best to do this for you."

Harry looked down and played with the rings on his fingers, unsure of if he could do this any longer.