Like Normal People Do

Emotional

George watched from the doorway with a smile as Clay's Uber drove away. When he could no longer see the car, George closed the door with a sigh.

"Nick, I'm about to have a mental breakdown so either leave while you still can or grab a spoon and get ready to comfort me." George called out as he wandered his way to the freezer in search of ice cream. Nick appeared moments later to collect a spoon.

After finding a tub of vanilla ice cream, Nick and George dropped themselves back on the couch. George could feel the dark clouds from earlier roll in to fill his mind. Before long, George was choking down his ice cream around the lump in his throat.

"Talk to me, George." Nick voiced gently. He'd seen enough of George's breakdowns to know that it was best to get George talking as soon as he could.

"Well, I don't have to decide who I like best." George mumbled, heart aching. "And I don't have to confess either because he already knows." He continued. "I bet that's why he wanted to meet me right after I said it. He wanted me to know so that I wouldn't talk about it. It's his way of rejecting me because he cares too much about people's feelings to say it outright. He said he'd leave if I wanted him to, while he was explaining himself. I didn't think about it then but I realise it now. That was his way of asking to leave. He wanted me to tell him he could go. And I stupidly told him to stay because I thought he might want to still be friends at least." George sniffled, biting the inside of his cheek. It didn't stop the tears trickling down.

"And even if he does want to be friends, he'll realise I'm not worth it by the end of the week. What has someone like me got to offer someone like him? Messages at horrible hours telling him how much I want to hug him? Daily complaints about my shitty job so that he'll tell me cheesy jokes to make me feel better? Shitty playlists of shitty songs that remind me of him?" George's knuckles were white around his spoon.

"I have nothing to offer him. Not as a friend and definitely not as anything more. And he's going to realise that and it's going to break me." George hiccuped. "It'll break me, Nick, but I'll let him leave. I've always been weak when it comes to him. If he told me to walk I'd ask how far. If he told me to jump I'd ask how high. He never asked me to fall but I did it anyway." George paused.

"I thought I was happy... that Dream was Clay and that Clay was Dream... but I'm not. I wish Clay was a normal person so that it wouldn't be this hard. So that I wouldn't have to lose them both."

George knew Nick was bad at comforting words so he didn't ask him for any. Not since the first time he had broken down in front of him. George simply asked for his company. And Nick was always there to give it.

Once it was clear George had finished talking, Nick stood and disappeared down the hallway. He returned with one of George's hoodies and some blankets. George smiled gratefully, removing Clay's hoodie and replacing it with his own. Nick wandered off to put Clay's hoodie away.

George bundled himself up in the blankets and waited for Nick to return. Wordlessly, Nick switched on the TV and put on The Emperors New Groove. George dropped his head to Nick's lap and Nick rested one hand on his hair, using the other to pull out his phone.

"I'm not good with words, George, you know that. But you do have so much to offer. And Clay will see that if you let him. Just because he's famous doesn't mean he's perfect." Nick mumbled before leaving George to watch his movie.

////:\\\\
9/5/20

Sappatus Nappatus
Clay.
9:49pm