Find Our Way Back - T.H

•10•

Last night was.. chaotic.
I can't believe Haz actually agreed to keep my secret..him and Tom are closer than anything, and they definitely do not keep secrets from each other. I feel bad, asking him to do this. I wish I would have realized that I needed to hide that letter.. or burn it.
I shove the old crumpled up letter into the trash, never wanting anyone else to see it again.
After Audrey gets out of school, Tom and I are taking her out to buy a dress for the dance. Tom is so excited to take her out, it's almost like he knows she's his, at least he's acting like she is..
"Wheres the little cupcake?" Tom mutters to himself as he leans against my car, looking through the crowd of children.
"The little cupcake?" I question with a light laugh.
"Oh hush it." He laughs.
"Tom!" Audrey yells, running up to us.
"Hey pumpkin, ready to go dress shopping?" He asks her, using yet another adorable nickname.
"Yes!" She says excitedly.
She hops in the backseat, buckling her seat belt. As we drive downtown, she talks with Tom about her new dance studio.
"The girls are annoying!" She says.
"Audrey that's not very kind." I say.
"They're always running around yelling and not actually dancing!" She groans.
Audrey may be six, but she takes dancing very seriously. Not to mention she went to a school that took it very seriously, she doesn't realize that most kids her age just do it for fun.
"I'm telling you, I could get her with an amazing instructor that got me in Billy Elliot." Tom says.
"I'm not sure she's at that level yet." I say.
"They work with everyone, and they will get her better way faster." He encourages.
"Please momma!" Audrey pleads.
"We will think about it, okay?" I say.
We get to the store, and the woman helps us pick out a few beautiful dresses that look like something straight out of a princess movie. Tom is spoiling her..
I help her into the first one, a gorgeous Cinderella blue that reflected beautifully in the light.
"It's so pretty!" She squeals, running out to show Tom.
"Very beautiful, Audrey." Tom nods with a smile. "But the real question is, can you dance in it?"
Tom stand up, taking Audrey's hands and dancing around with her. Seeing this moment, it hurts me..I want this for her. To always have moments like this with her dad..
I really want this for her..
I feel a tear slip my eyes and I wipe it away quickly.
"This is the one!" She says.
"Alright then, go change back into your clothes and I'll get it for you." Tom says.
Audrey runs back into the dressing room and Tom raises his brow at me.
"What's going on?" He asks softly.
"Nothing." I shake my head. "I just really appreciate you doing all of this.. getting her a dress, taking her to the dance. All of it."
"I know it sounds weird.. but it just feels like she's my own." He says. "I promise I'm not trying to step in or interfere in any way but, the girl needs a father figure in her life. She deserves one. The least I can do is go to her dance with her."
God damnit if we have this conversation any longer I'm going to start crying again.
Audrey skips out in her regular clothes, holding the dress in her arm. Her and Tom walk over to the register and he hands the woman his card before she even rings him up. My eyes widen as I see the price, how in the world can a children's dress be that expensive? We walk out of the store and Tom hands Audrey her bag.
"Thanks daddy!" She says, hopping into the car.
I look over to Tom, and his face softens.
"You're welcome." He smiles.
She just called him daddy.. and I don't think she even realized it. Like the idea of him being her dad feels so natural to her..
We get in the car and I can't help but take notice of Toms mood, he seems so happy that she called him that. We drive home and he pulls into our driveway.
"Momma can Tom stay for pizza night?" Audrey asks.
"That's up to him." I say, looking over to him.
"Depends, what kind of pizza are we talkin?" He asks Audrey.
"Hawaiian duh!" She says as if any other pizza is an absolute joke.
"I'm in." He nods with a laugh, getting out of his car to join us.
We go inside and Audrey sets her shopping bag down. Tom shuts the door behind him and I walk up to him as Audrey plops onto the couch.
"If you don't want to stay it's fine she is-"
"I want to stay." He assures me.
"Okay." I nod with a smile, and we walk into the living room.
I order the pizza as Audrey runs off to her room to do something.
Soon she comes out in her full ballet gear, and hands me a hair tie.
"I need a bun!" She says.
"What are you all dressed up for?" I ask.
"Tom needs to see how good I am at dancing!" She exclaims and I giggle.
"Ooo dinner and a show!" Tom says with a laugh.
I put her hair into a bun, and turn on her ballet playlist. We watch her dance around the living room, I honestly could never get tired of her dancing. She truly is amazing, especially for her age.
"Audrey you are phenomenal." Tom says.
"Thanks! I practice a lot!" She says.
"I can tell." He smiles.
They get on so well.. having him around just makes everything feel complete.

•Toms pov•
I sit out back of Haz and Tuwaine's place drinking a beer. It's pretty late, and Allison needed to get Audrey to bed so I came here.
"She called me daddy." I say, tapping my finger on the beer bottle mindlessly.
"She did?" Haz asks.
"She's such a special little girl.." I say. "I can just see it.. making her breakfast in the morning, driving her to school, getting to see her every time I come home from filming.. I wish she was my daughter. This is the life I had always dreamed of for Allison and I, and I can't have it."
The alcohol definitely makes me a little more vulnerable and talkative than normal, but I don't care.
"And then my poor Allie.. doing this all alone.." I sigh.
"She's not your Allie anymore, Tom.." Haz reminds me.
"I want her to be though." I state.
"Are you falling for her again?" He asks, brows knit together.
"I never stopped."