Dare Me To Love You (ITL Series #1) |COMPLETE

Dare 33

CHAPTER 33

MONICA

"... HERE ARE THE maps." Binigyan kami ng tig-iisang map na may mga ekis sa iba't-ibang bahagi nito. Duon nakalagay ang mga 'puso' na hahanapin daw. I'm so clueless why I let myself be a part of this activity, knowing that I cried all night last night and my eyes were puffy. Good thing no one asked about it, and if they ask about, f*ck them.

"Andito na lahat ng names ng girls, ang boys ang bubunot kung sino ang magiging partner nila." Itinaas ng isang teacher ang box na naglalaman ng pangalan naming girls. Why does boys always do the honor to pick? Why can't girls have it, too? My feminist side can't take this.

Umikot ang mga mata ko ng makitang pinaka-first na bumunot si Gab. Tinignan ko na lang ang kuko ko na kunware ay may dumi doon dahil ayaw kong makita ang mukha niya. I bit my inner cheek. Who am I joking? Of course I want to see him, a part of me is denying the fact that I joined this game because of him. And I hate it.

"Uhh--Monica. Where is Monica?" sigaw ng teacher. Kunwareng wala akong narinig dahil lima naman kaming Monica dito, eh. As if naman destined talaga kaming maging partner. Pero bigla na lang akong kinabahan, paano kapag ako 'yun? That means that Gabriel and I will be together for an hour! Oh, sh*t. I don't know how I feel about that thought.

"Monica Cruz-" Hindi naman pala ako, eh. Nakita kong bumulong sa kaniya si Gab at pinakita ang papel. Tumango-tango naman ang teacher.

"Crisa Monica Ramirez." Natigilan ako at nanlaki ang mga mata sabay tingin sa harap. "What?! No!" hindi-makapaniwalan sabi ko, "No! Pick another paper!" singhal ko. Never thought I can shout my complains around everyone. I am no picky, nahihiya akong tumanggi at magreklamo. But this one... it's different. Different in a wrong way.

"No, honey. It's not fair for everyone if Gabriel changes his partner." Sabi ng teacher, may mga narinig naman akong bumulong at nagrereklamo. I sighed and rolled my eyes, "Fine!" I threw a sharp glare at him as I walk heavily. Lumapit ako sa kaniya and made sure that I keep my distance from him.

I don't want to admit but I can feel the stares from everyone, the fact that we're both standing in front makes my knees coggle. I did not plan for this. I don't like this. Ngumiti ang teacher sa amin at sinuklian ko na lang ito ng isang pilit na ngiti.

"Start!" sinundan ko si Gab na dumeretso sa kung saan. Para bang sinasadya niyang maglakad ng mabagal at para bang wala talaga siyang pakialam sa laro. Inunahan ko siya sa paglalakad, even his back irritates me.

"Monica..."

"Don't talk to me!" sabi ko lang at nagpatuloy sa paglalakad.

"Monica!" sigaw niya.

"I said do-" napa-tili ako ng bigla na lang niya akong hinila kaya napasandal ako sa dibdib niya. I was too stunned to even speak, I didn't know where did I get the courage to look up, realized that are face were just inches apart! I froze, surprised. And the only thing that was in my mind was to distance myself, yet I failed.

Naramdaman kong lumapit ang mukha niya sa akin at akmang hahalikan ako pero mabilis akong umiwas at sinampal siya.

"Don't touch me! Keep your distance!" (A/N Social distancing tayo guys.) sigaw ko sa kaniya.

Nang tumalikod ako sa kaniya ay humarap sa akin ang isa fish pond. Maliit lang iyon ngunit may tubig, kaya niya siguro ako hinila pabalik. But still not enough reason to do that. Tears pooled my eyes as I stepped away... from him. Bakit kahit gaano kasakit, sa kaniya pa rin tumitibok 'yung puso ko? Damn it.

May nakita akong heart shape sa puno, sinubukan ko itong kunin pero masyado itong mataas. Naramdaman ko na lang ang presensiya niya'ng kumuha duon sa kinukuha ko. I carelessly wiped my tears.

"I am selfish, Monica. Ayaw kong magpahiram ng gamit, hindi ko hinahayaan ang sarili kong maging isang alipin, that's why I don't do girlfriends. When I sing, it's not for everybody but for me. I don't know if you felt the sincerity, but I am sure that I'm sincere that time, it was like... I enjoyed singing for someone. That's how you changed me." Hindi ko alam kung bakit siya nagpapaliwanag pero wala akong pake.

"Then sana kinantahan mo na lang ang sarili mo that day, tutal nag-eenjoy ka naman gaya ng sabi mo." mataray kong sabi habang nakatalikod sa kaniya. Sinusubukan kong maging matatag, but I was wrecking inside.

He chuckled, but I heard a glimpse of agony, and I tried to avoid it. Ayoko ng magpa-uto ulit. "I wish I had the time to think about it, I wish I never did it! Because the only thing that's making me chase you... was the fact that I'm being serious! Seryoso na akong gusto kita!" I froze, speechless, bothered. He broke trust once, and I could never trust him again. Yet this feeling in my heart... what's this?

"Kaya nga eh, sana pala hindi na kita nabago para hindi ka sunod nang sunod. With your confession, you just made me more sick. You broke my trust once, how can I believe you again this time?" Nagagalit akong humarap sa kaniya. Pinatatag ko ang sarili kong hindi maluha.

"What?"

"You make me sick, Gabriel! You're feeling guilty about what you did, sa tingin mo ba ganon na lang 'yon? This is your own f*cking medicine, have a taste of it." sigaw ko habang dinuduro ang dibdib niya at pinabayaan niya akong gawin iyon. Hindi ko alam bakit pa ako umangat para tingnan ang mukha niya.

I hate seeing him crying. Ayoko siyang umiiyak dahil masakit sa dibdib. Mahal ko pa siya... sa pag-amin ko palang sa sarili ko nito, inaamin ko na rin na isa akong tanga. Tanga na ba ako kung pipiliin kong maging malaya kaisa sa masaktan ng sobra?

"Pakinggan mo muna ako, Monica, please." said Gabriel, pain was visible by how he spoke.

"Please..." inayos ko ang tayo ko at tumingin sa kaniya, nadudurog ang puso kong nakikita siya dahil sa lungkot ng kaniyang mukha, but I chose to leave with a broke heart, than a broken trust. Walang pasabi akong tumakbo at hinanap ang cottage namin.

Bigla na lang pumasok si Marzh sa cottage at bigla niyang ni-lock ang pinto. Dumeretso siya sa kinaroroonan ko saka ako niyakap.

"Shh. It's okay, I'm here..." Umiyak na lang ako sa balikat niya habang yakap niya ako.

Buong hapon ay pinatahan niya ako hanggang sa tumigil ako kakaiyak. I didn't know how she knew about me and Gab, but one thing is for sure, I am not alone at this moment. What did I do to deserve these people around me?

But still... my heart is wanting for something... someone. This stupid heart.

W A N D E R

we're getting there...