Don't Go

028

I tried so hard to be back to my old self — the Venice who treasures education a lot. Masaya ako na nagawa kong ibalik iyon. It is hard but I didn't give up.

Yes, maybe there's a point  were I wanted to let go. Yet, my future is at stake. It doesn't mean that I'm hurting, my world should also stops on spinning around. Hindi naman mag-a-adjust lahat ng tao especially ang mga professor ko sa mga sakit na pinagdadaanan ko ngayon. For them, it will just be another irresponsibility even by a student like me. It is not their loss. It's mine.

Kailangan, ako pa rin ang dapat makiayon sa takbo ng buhay. The life that I chose to just live it fully for me. Because now, I promise to myself, that I am the one who will write the story of my life. I will not let someone hold the pen once again.

Daddy gave me the space I wanted and I appreciated him for that. It is difficult for me not to look at him with no pain. He loves me but the pain he inflicted to me is real. While mommy and Paris didn't even bother on approaching. It's fine though, kaysa naman i-approach nila ako at puro sumbat at masasakit na salita na naman ang lalabas sa bibig nila. I guess, it is better this way.

I don't have plans on asking for their forgiveness any more. Someone told me that I am not accountable on the behavior of others; thus, there is nothing for me to apologize. Hindi lang naman sila ang nasasaktan at nahihirapan, ako rin naman but they never bother on asking if I'm alright. Don't get me wrong. Hindi ko sila sinusumbatan. Ayaw ko na lang ipagsiksikan pa ang sarili ko sa pamilyang kailanman ay hindi naging akin.

I have no enough evidence to prove if Katrina really do stole mommy's money yet I believe she really does. I find out that daddy talked to manang Irma and they agreed that Katrina will move out from our house. At least, daddy still believes me. Iyon na lang ang mahalaga sa akin.

Kapag nakikita ko si Katrina rito sa campus ay wala man lang akong nakikitang kahit kaonting guilt sa kanya. How could someone do such crime without feeling any remorse about it? Maybe, greed and envy totally occupies her heart and mind. It is alarming because people like her became the worst of themselves.

Dahil sa nangyari ay mas pinag-iinitan niya pa ako. Just like now.

"Ano ba! Bulag ka ba? Hindi ka kasi tumitingin sa dinadaanan mo," aniya dahil nagkabanggan kami pero siya lang naman ang bumangga sa balikat ko.

Such a liar.

A pretender.

"Ganyan ba ang epekto kapag anak sa labas?" sarkastiko niyang tanong na halata naman na gusto niya lang iparinig sa mga taong naririto ngayon.

She thinks, she can taint my name some more. Kung dati ay kaya ko pang magtimpi sa kanya. Then, sorry. I can't do it now. A person like her doesn't deserve my kindness. She is just too much.

"Bakit? Sa pagkalawak-lawak ng daanan, ikaw ata ang bulag para banggain ako. Ganyan ba talaga kapag magnanakaw?" I asked at her with the cold voice I have.

Nakita ko ang pag-igting ng panga niya at pagngitngit ng mga mata.

Got you, thief.

"Bakit? Takot ka bang malaman ng lahat na isa kang magnanakaw?" I smirked. "Nakuha mong kunin ang relo ko ng walang paalam. Ninakawan mo rin ng bente mil ang nanay ko. Tell me. Sino sa atin ngayon ang dapat mahiya?"

"Wala kang katibayan kaya huwag mo kong pagbintangan," mariin niyang wika.

Same old lines. Same old tactics.

What a brat. I don't have time for her.

"Sure. Sure. Whatever," wika ko at tinalikuran ko siya. I even heard her catcalls me, but I don't care anymore.