HER

Part 28

" I'-Im preg-gnant?" A tear cascaded on my cheeks. I didn't feel like smiling nor saddened at the thought. My mind still couldn't believe what I heard. I'm too shock and overwhelmed with the news.

My hands turned to angry fist but they soon disappeared. Guilt was evident on my face. Anxiety tried to break in but I was trying my all to get over this. I was just hurting myself more by merely crying over it.

" Lay low, Cassy. " Mary said, concerned, " The last time you knew of the news, you fainted. "

" Who brought me here?" I asked Mary. My wrist was attached to an IV. I must have dehydrated myself on the way. Afterall, I missed dinner. My eyes blinked a couple of times, scanning the room I was in and muttered a curse.

" Mary! Tell me, who found me unconscious on Xavier's hotel room! "

Mary bit her lip. Her face distorted to anxious and mischief. " I should call- "

I took hold of her arms and gripped both of his shoulders, "Tell me now."

" It was me. " Xavier's voice boomed in the room. The sliding entrance door closed as he make himself in." I found you and brought you here. I told Mary to not speak about it to anyone as I knew you'd act like this. "

It has been so long since I saw him. So long a part of me kind of miss him. Missed his laughter, his agitation, his look, the way he smile and frown or either yet angry. The fine lines of his eyebrow deepened for some reason and I was battling with my own emotions not to be swept away by his features. His jaw was prominent, clenched through teeth. Fighting his own rage and confusion over the incident.

" Act like what?" My temper rose. But they soon dissolve. My question came out a whimper. " Like a lunatic? " 

Most of all I missed his voice, the sound of it was like music to my ears but now I'm not so sure about it. I wanted to throw a trantum to him, to blame everything and his doings. That he deserved my anger. That he was not worth at all to be with me. What a lying hypocrite he was and a coward. But I couldn't. I was also one to be blame. About my cluelessness, my cowardness and also my selfishness.

" I didn't mean to-" Xavier closed his eyes and exhale a handful of air. " That's not what I meant-"

I, too am blind by love that I couldn't figured his obligations and responsibilities. He got a duty towards his family business that I spend so much time not knowing about it. I was so engrossed by the fact that he was there for me when I needed him and that I could hardly extrapolate that he too, have a life of his own. He couldn't share everything to me because he have someone whom has to take care of him.

And that was his fiancee.

" Now let go of Mary, Cassy." His voice softened. His adam's apple bobbled up and down. I could tell he was handsomely tired and exhausted.  This time, I'm sure he didn't slept a wink. I didn't know why he wasn't. But I soon realized he is no longer my concern. He was Christiana's. No matter how hard my heart beats for him. He wasn't mine anymore. " It isn't good for Mary. For you. "

He's talking about Tiny spot and this thing, this beautiful thing inside of me.

Why has it happened of all the days? Why now? I accepted the outcome of this event but how could the world so cruel to this beautiful thing? He must have been crying if he so much heard his parents fighting. I sighed. I even called it a he. How fascinating and atrocious is this.

I whipped my head towards the window which was parallel to the bed.  An acacia tree shown into view, it was morning. The sun peeked through the curtains and the birds chirpped in tune. I was looking at the cotton clouds and slowly forgotten how to feel at peace. When was I ever peaceful? The moment Tria left I was in grief and directionless. I was the one loosing on the war between my head and my heart.