𝐬𝐦𝐢𝐥𝐞 𝐟𝐥𝐨𝐰𝐞𝐫 ☾︎ soonhoon

C H P - 11

"Can I stay at your place for the night?"

----

Soonyoung froze as he instinctively sucked in a breath of air. A night with Jihoon? "What...?" he whispered brokenly, his throat still hoarse from the tears he had shed for the love of his life and the male's sick mother. How had it ever come to this? He had left Jihoon behind for his own good, so why was he crawling back, slipping through what Soonyoung had thought were the indestructible cracks inside of him? Slowly, the male had managed to sink his fingers in and create new scars where the old had healed. But then again, Soonyoung had asked for this, unconsciously prayed for him to come back, and now it was his turn to be strong.

Jihoon sighed softly. "I can't go back home tonight. So can I stay with you?"

The words were so hesitant and scared; neither of them could do anything but bask in the silence their actions had led them up to.

What is he thinking? they wondered, though the words were not to be spoken aloud.

How ironic it was that the one who had forgotten was the one who was begging to come back.

"Uhm..." Soonyoung nervously pulled his bottom lip between his teeth--he was sure not to draw blood, no matter how nice the notion seemed in that moment. "Of course you can. Of course you can..." He thought the continuation of words was more to convince himself than the one beside him that he would be okay with this. Of course Jihoon could stay, and of course Soonyoung would be able to bear having him near. Of course they both could... couldn't they?

"That's a relief." An almost humorous laugh slipped from the shorter male's lips. His cheeks were still flushed with despair for his mother, who was soon to become his late-mother, but he didn't need to think about that now, nor did he need to feel it. For now he could focus on Soonyoung--nothing but Soonyoung, and he knew that that would be enough to distract him from his impending grief. "I was thinking you were gonna say no."

Soonyoung's grip on his love's fingers gradually loosened. "Why would I do that?"

"No," Jihoon retorted immediately, a pucker forming between either of his eyebrows. "I can't tell. You're going to think I'm crazy."

"Tell me." Despite every selfish monster inside of him that pleaded to hold on, Soonyoung swallowed thickly and allowed the male's hand to slip from his own. "What is it?" With his now free palms, he wiped at either of his eyes to be rid of the remaining moisture. Then his gaze was back on Jihoon.

"Can you promise not to think I'm crazy?" Jihoon wiped at his own eyes while he waited for his friend's response.

Soonyoung nodded gently. His chest was burning with the urge to reattach their hands, to slip their fingers together and keep them tight in a little knot of comfort, but he knew better than to do that. He shoved his palms beneath his thighs. "Yes. I promise."

Jihoon let out a hesitant sigh before beginning, "It's just... I know you said we haven't met before, but it feels like we have. I feel like I've known you for years, like I know what you're going to say, how you're going to react to things, what your favorite food is, what all your little quirks are. I feel like I know you inside and out." Which is why I trusted you so quickly. I didn't have a choice. "Something inside of me told me that you were going to say no. I just knew it."

The words were already leaving the blonde's lips before he could realize the impact of what he was saying, "But I've only ever told you 'no' once, back when we were lit..."

Oh, no...

What he had stated right then processed with a horrified gasp. He just about slapped himself across the face as harshly as his fragile human body would allow, but before he could, Jihoon spoke and shattered his world.