Hate & Love

Feelings

Me and moni are in the car on the way to the mall. It was silent for a couple of minutes, then Moni decides to break it.

"So you gotta tote that gun around everywhere now?", she asked

"Yeah, specially if ion wanna get caught lackin"

"oh okay.... You ever shot somebody?", she asked another question.

"nah, but I will if I have to. Since we playing 21 questions now, Would you ride for me If needed you to?", I asked her. She was quiet for minute, then gave me a answer.

"yeah ig", I looked at her and raised my eyebrows.

"you guess?"

"I mean i'm not gone let you get hurt, so if you need me i'm there.", I gave her a cheeky smile.

"nah i'm just fucking around, I can't have you risking yo life for me.", I said.

It was nice to know she would ride for me, but I couldn't live with myself if something were to happen to Moni. She's one of the few people I care about in this fucked up world. If she ever left me behind, a piece of me would be gone. Moni always been my right hand, making sure I was straight and kept me from loosing my shit. So imagine what I would become if I didn't have her.

We're now at a red light in the city, the mall is about 20 minutes away. Mainly because of traffic stops. the car is quiet once again, but I decide to take this time and ask her about her relationship with Zion.

"So what happened with you and Zion?", I asked.

She sighed, ".....What me and him had going on was more like an experiment for me, but instead of being honest about how I felt, I let the relationship continue and led him on just to break his heart." Damn I feel bad for my bro. The light turned green and continued driving.

"So what made you finally open up to him?"

"It's senior year and he was planning out our future and shit, while I was planning my escape from this bullshit ass city and my crazy ass dad. So I just bossed up and told him the truth."

"You talked to him lately?", Moni asked.

"not really, dude been MIA", I replied and she nodded. After that we sat in silence for the rest of the ride.

........

Moni's pov

We got to the mall, and Dee tried to find a parking space.

I couldn't stop thinking about everything that went down with me and Zion, he put his whole heart into our relationship and made me his priority. Although, he was controlling. It was cute at first but it got irritating when I realized I wasn't ready for all that.

When I first got into the relationship with Zi, It was a week before 10th grade year. Every girl had a boyfriend, but I could never find interest in boys. I thought it was because maybe I just never been in a relationship before so I had to try it out. So, I started dating Zion and it was fun but I didn't want him be in a relationship with him anymore. Then there was Mercedes, my best friend. A big ass hot head, but always seemed gentle with me. When ever I had fall outs with my dad and his wife, she was always there. When I felt alone and sad with life she was there to put a smile on my face. When i'm with her it's always good vibes.

It took me a while to realize how I felt about Mercedes, mainly because I didn't want to believe it. My dad is crazy religious and never failed to tell me the sins in this world and at some point all I wanted was to make him proud. That's where my life got fucked up at, wanting to make someone else proud instead of making myself proud.