If I Go

Chapter 9

"I'm so sorry, dear." Loretta choked out as her eyes filled up with tears. 

Despite all of the sadness that was inside me, I rose above it. "It's fine," I replied. A big lump formed in my throat and the tears started to flow out of my eyes and onto my cheeks. Loretta took a deep breath and left the room. My parents and I cried a waterfall once the door to my room slammed shut. 

Once we calmed ourselves down, they told me that they had to get going since they had work tomorrow so they left me sitting in my hospital bed sobbing. After an hour went by, Loretta knocked on my door softly.  

"Come in," I croaked.

Loretta opened the door and shut it behind her. "Are you up for visitors?" 

"Sure! Why not?" I replied. 

"Okay. I'll go get them." Loretta then exited the room once again. 

No wonder I had GHB; I felt like crap and I bet you that I haven't showered in weeks so that's gross. On top of that, I might die all because of a breakup and a few drinks. Yup, that's a great way to die. 

Deep down, I wondered what it would be like if I died. Would Chloe and Gaven start dating each other? Would my parents move to another country since they couldn't bear all of the memories that were at our house? Would there be reporters lined up at the front door, asking about me and what happened? Was there an afterlife? Would I be able to watch over my parents and Chloe? Would I see what was going around in my hometown? 

Interrupting my thoughts, Chloe opened the door wide and held it for the next person who would be coming in to see me as well. Chloe had tears streaking down her cheeks as she came up to me and put me in a tight embrace. Standing off to the side, watching us, was Gaven. 

I froze in the embrace. Sensing the tension in me, Chloe whispered, "I tried to get Loretta to not let him in, but... Obviously that didn't end well." 

"It's fine," I whispered back. "I'm glad you're here with me." 

Chloe sobbed, digging her head into my shoulder. I squeezed her gently and she let go of me and took a seat next to my bed. She wiped the tears off of her cheeks and smiled at me. "You're going to be okay, right? Loretta was too upset to tell us anything. The same with your parents and I—we don't know why. Right, Gaven?" 

Gaven looked up at me. "Yeah. We don't know why everyone's so upset." 

I took a deep shaky breath. "Um, well a lot has happened since you last visited. For instance, I woke up from my coma or whatever it was. Everything was spinning and I couldn't focus on anything clearly. Once I got some of my strength back, they put me in the X-Ray room to do some X-rays to see if everything was running smoothly in my body." A lump formed in my throat but I swallowed it down and kept going; my vision became blurry. 

"Once the X-rays were done, Loretta got the feedback from them and contacted my parents to see the results. Then, Loretta told me what the contents of the X-rays were. It turned out that while I was at the nightclub—" 

"The nightclub? When was this?" Gaven asked. 

"Let her finish, then we'll talk," Chloe said stiffly. 

I began once again. "While I was at the nightclub, I had a few drinks. One of them contained something called GHB. GHB is odorless, colorless, and tastless so there was no telling it was in the beer. How I got my coma was from the GHB and it made me drowsy, and dizzy. Pretty soon I was on the floor of the club and Chloe, I assumed called for an ambulance. Loretta told me a lot about GHB for instance, she told me that—that..." The tears came running down my cheeks and I put my head in my hands. 

I felt Chloe put a hand on my leg. "Tell us. What did she tell you?" Chloe asked gently. 

I picked my head up and brushed the tears away. I took a deep breath and said it. "She told me that I might die." 

The phrase hung in the air like a rain cloud. I let the information sink in, and a little after that I started sobbing and crying my heart out. Chloe then joined me and I even saw Gaven shed a few tears and sob a little. 

"Now, why were you guys at the nightclub?" Gaven asked. 

"We went because since you thought Natalie wasn't good enough for you just because she wasn't going to your football game. We wanted to have our own fun without a buzzkill like you around and plus you broke up with her, so I wanted to cheer her up." Chloe explained. 

"How am I a buzzkill?" 

That's not the point!" Chloe said, flustered. "The point is, you broke my best friend's heart and now she might die because you broke up with her and made her feel like she wasn't enough for you! Natalie over here is so nice, generous, and beautiful! I don't know how you couldn't see the beauty that was right in front of you. It doesn't matter that she didn't go to a bunch of your stupid football games and it doesn't matter that you had to reschedule dates  from time to time. What matters is that both of you love each other and stick together thick through thin and love each other no matter what!"

I beamed at Chloe. "Thanks for the speech Chloe."

Chloe smiled. "No problem!"

Gaven laughed. "Chloe, you're right. Natalie, I'm so sorry that I didn't appreciate you and—" 

I held up a hand. "You don't need to say anything more." I leaned in to Gaven, wrapped my arms around his neck, pulled him in, and kissed him. I felt his fingers ruffle through my dirty, uncombed hair. His other hand lay on the small of my back that pulled me closer to him, and made the kiss stronger and harder. I heard Chloe hoot and holler at us and I smirked. 

I pulled away from him and looked Gaven in the eye and smiled. 

Gaven seemed confused. "What's wrong?" 

I grinned. "I just wanted to say that I love you. So much." 

Gaven smiled. "I love you too." Tears swelled up in his eyes and soon we were all crying once again.