Playing With Fire

Chapter 29: Fucked Up

Jhene:

Queens, New York

My plane arrived back in New York quicker than I expected it too, I was hoping the flight would help clear my mind but it did nothing but clutter it up even more, sometimes I wished I could just trade places with another person so that I didn't have to keep going through my feelings all the time. I wish there was an on and off button where I could just turn my feelings off when they weren't needed and stop worrying about others. But I couldn't that was the problem; they always seemed to get the better of me. Marlon came and picked both me and Asia up from the airport and he was literally over the moon to see me, but as much as I wanted to, I couldn't return the same happiness to him because I didn't feel happy, as I laid eyes on him guilt submerged my conscious even heavier than it did before and I immediately wished he hadn't bothered coming.

All the wrong shit I'd done during that short trip back to LA had me feeling guiltier than sin.

Like the other night with me and Chris; it was amazing, well up to a certain point. But I couldn't help but think I'd messed things up between me and Chris permanently this time, I could tell in his face that what I'd said had really hurt him and seeing him this morning just confirmed that for me.

Earlier

A text message buzzed through my phone almost causing it to vibrate off the side, I quickly stood up from packing the last of me and Asia's clothes into my suitcase and grabbed my phone of the side and read the message flashing through my screen

Chris: Bring Asia down, I'm outside.

My belly sunk. I didn't know he was coming here; a part of me didn't want him to come because I didn't want to have to face him after the other night. I hadn't seen nor spoken to him since then and that was 3 days ago so I was kinda scared only because I didn't know what to expect from him today. I peeked out my bedroom window just to see if he was really there and as expected his car was parked outside in the driveway. I sighed and quickly text back saying I was coming then headed downstairs to get Asia.

"Where y'all going?" My dad asked as I walked over to the front door holding Asia on my hip

"Just outside quickly so Chris can say bye to Asia before we leave" I explained,

"What is he out there now?" he asked raising his brow,

"Yeah..."

"Why don't he ever come inside anymore?" he questioned crossing his arms, I shrugged, "I'm telling you, he's still hiding from me Jhene, imma catch him slipping one day though" he joked,

"Dad please shut up" I laughed opening up the front door "I'll be back in a few" I mumbled before I walked outside onto the porch and closed in the front door. I braced myself as Chris opened up his car door and got out. I walked down the steps my feet meeting the pebbles of the driveway until we both met halfway with each other,

"Hey" I smiled faintly; Chris nodded his head what's up effortlessly before diverting his attention onto Asia, a genuine smile breaking out on his face, before he could even say anything to her Asia stretched her arms out to him, he immediately responded by taking her out of my arms and playfully chucking her up in the air before he laid a stupid amount of kisses on her face, I leaned back on my legs and watched as the two of them interacted with each other, it brought a warming smile to my face to see how close they'd grown within these past few weeks.

Asia absolutely adored Chris, Mama J and his entire family, it was crazy because I'd never seen Asia warm to people she didn't know as quickly as she did them, the laughs and smiles she had when she was with Chris was a beautiful sight to witness. And Chris, there was no words to explain how good he was with her; honestly he was a great father to both his kids. So I knew without even thinking about it that I'd most definitely be coming back to LA more frequent than before, at least so she could have a close relationship with him. I knew shit between the two of us would probably never be the same but I didn't want that to affect him and Asia's relationship.