Taming the Street Racer ✔️

28 | notes of love

The drive home is dead silent. My emotions are being held together by a single thread, and I'm afraid I'll lose it all over again if I say anything. We both stare straight ahead at the road. I feel weighed down by my problems, and I hate myself for putting this on Grayson.

He shouldn't have to worry about me, but I know he is.

His tender words weigh heavy on my mind, confusing me even more. They're tiny sparks of light in the darkness of my thoughts. But feeling the truth and accuracy of his words only reminds me that Gray has his own demons that threaten to drag him under.

I say none of this, of course.

When we pull in front of my house, neither of us move. The air is thick with unspoken words, and I can feel both of us itching to just let it all out.

"I wish we could've stayed longer," Grayson says, cutting through the silence. "But Gracie's with my aunt and I don't want--"

"Gray," I stop him. "It's okay. You don't have to explain yourself."

He runs his hand through his hair, something I've noticed he does when he's nervous. "Yeah, I kind of do, Riv. I can't let you..."

His fists are balled on the steering wheel, and he fails to find the right words. I save him from his internal struggle. "I'm fine, I promise. Don't worry about me."

I kiss him on the cheek, trying to keep him from worrying anymore. He grabs my hand before I can open the door.

"River." I turn back to him, already feeling tears well up. I can't do this right now.

"I'm right here. Remember what I said because I meant every single thing that came out of my mouth." He's looking right through me, looking almost as pained as I feel. I feel a single tear run down my cheek and I just nod feebly at him.

I tear myself from the car and take my bag from the trunk. Then I run inside, unable to look back at him. I don't hear his car leave until the front door closes behind me.

I let out a breath too soon. Sitting in our formal living room, with their hands folded, are my parents. They're staring at me with straight mouths.

"You know we're not stupid. Right, honey?" My mother says, tucking a perfect curl behind her ear.

"The tracker on your phone has been very useful. We know where you've been," my father says threateningly. I hardly feel afraid. "You think you're so much smarter than us, don't you? Going on about all your achievements, how much we don't care about you. Well, River, we gave you the benefit of the doubt but after--"

"Then we figure out that you've spent the night with some boy like a slut," my mother cuts in, screaming. "What do you expect us to do? What are we supposed to do with a daughter like you, who whores around, trying to destroy our reputations?"

I just stare at them, unfazed. It's almost comical at this point.

"So you know what I've been doing?"

My mom nods, as if she's winning this battle. "We know everything, River."

"Great. So I don't have to fill you in," I say. Then I run upstairs, not bothering to relish the frustrated looks on their faces.

"Don't come crying to us when your little shenanigans get you pregnant!" My father yells after me, trying in vain to tip me over the edge. "We won't put up with your shit much longer, River! RIVER!"

I slam my door closed and flop onto my bed, numbing myself to everything. Slowly, I strip my clothes off and swaddle myself in my comforter, creating a protective layer between me and the outside world.