If Only She'd Loved Him

Chapter 32

Saturday 8:15 am

Megan's smile lost its edge as she looked at Erik's face. He didn't say a word to her, just flicked a white square on the bed. She picked it up.

"What's this?"

Erik looked at her innocently, but his eyes were red-rimmed and hollow. Dark circles shadowed his cheekbones. Stubble grazed his chin.

"I brought you a present. I wanted you to be able to enjoy it."

The photo was taken with a telephoto lens and though she couldn't tell who it was, Paul's face was clear and blissful as he kissed the girl in the picture. The girl who was not her. Orange digital lettering across the top of the photo stated the time and date. It was taken just two weeks ago. She had been Erik's prisoner for three days.

"Thought you might like to see how your old boyfriend was doing in your absence," he taunted. "I don't know who she is," he continued. "But I guess that really doesn't matter. Just think, sweetheart, while you've been dreaming that Paul was going to come rushing to your rescue, he's been screwing around on you. Ain't love grand?"

Megan clutched at the photo, crumpling it in her hand. Tears coursed down her cheeks. "You lousy bastard!"

She flung the picture at Erik.  He pretended to duck, then laughed and caught it, smoothing it out before he dropped it into a nearby wastebasket.   His grin went away as he looked at Megan's tear-stained face. She was crying over this? Crying over some guy who was was fucking around on her. But she spent her every waking moment trying to get away from him when all he did was love her! How could she be so stupid? How could life be so unfair?

Megan ignored him. Sitting on the bed, she smoothed out the wrinkled picture. Surely the bastard had fixed it. There was no way it could be real. Paul loved her and she loved him. He would never betray her like this. They had even talked marriage. Well she'd practiced writing her name as Mrs. Paul Haverford and that was close enough. She had shared everything with Paul, everything! She blushed. OK, not quite everything, but it had gotten pretty hot and heavy lately. She thought she finally gotten it right.

Her first time had been forgettable, sloppy and fast. To make things worse, the guy had completely blown her off afterwards. She had resolved to lay low, but not horizontal, until she fell in love for real. And she kept to her word for two years, but then late one night she got caught in a deserted parking lot with a flat tire. When Erik appeared and offered to fix her flat, she felt fate had taken a hand. The kiss she gave him that night was meant to be casual, a gentle thank you, nothing more, but when their lips met, her safe, calm little world shattered. His touch made her quiver. The heat of his tongue rocked the inside of her body till she felt like she wanted to claw her way out. When they finally broke apart they were both sweating, and they both wanted more. They started seeing each other, and soon they couldn't stop. The physical chemistry that bound them together burned them weak and raw.

But in the end it wasn't enough.

Suddenly Erik had needed to see her every day. He wanted to know exactly where she'd been and who she'd been with when he wasn't with her. Megan began to feel trapped. Her needs became as strong as his, only she wanted to spend more time alone, more time studying, anything which made her feel like she was her own person again. She started consciously avoiding Erik as she fought to find herself again. Only he couldn't understand what was going on and instead of giving her the time she needed, he demanded more of it than ever. Finally she couldn't take feeling smothered any more and she said goodbye.

Paul had seemed like the perfect antidote. Flawless smile, great love of fun, he only cared about the moment, not the future. She never had to ask him for space. He gave it to her gladly. His touch didn't set her on fire, but it felt good and he was so patient, so understanding about her need to be sure. He seemed too good to be true. He was. If Megan had known the only reason Paul believed in space was for his benefit alone, that as soon as they hit the sheets, an inevitability he'd tell himself with a practiced wink in the mirror, he'd say goodbye. She would have taken the photo that Erik had given her and shredded it into tiny, tiny bits. As it was she told herself that Paul loved her, understood her. The irony of a girl who loved games, being played herself, never crossed her mind.

Erik watched her face the whole time she studied the photograph, his eyes growing darker and darker. Till finally he reached down and snatched it out of her hands, tossing it on the floor.

"It's real, sweetheart. It's just you and me, now."

Megan snapped. She'd had more than she could take days ago. The betrayal of her boyfriend pushed her over an edge that had been crumbling for days. Needing an outlet, she began to scream. For a moment he could only listen, deafened by what he heard. Still she cried out, pain and anger, hatred, betrayal, fury and rage, shattered though her body. She kept screaming, until in desperation, he picked up a pillow and laid it over her face. For one moment he was petrified, Megan lay so still, but then her chest began to rise up and down as she sucked in air. Eyes wide open, Megan stared full into Erik's face, he relaxed.

"Please, Oh God, please, don't do that again. I could have killed you."

"Why didn't you," she mumbled turning away from his, staring across the room. He took her cheek, and with his fingertips pried it back to face him.

"I love you. Why can't you believe that?"

She refused to answer him and Erik's head slunk down. "Why must we always fight?" he whispered. "Why can't you, just once, do as I say?" His eyes pleaded with her for understanding, for forgiveness. He opened up his heart to her, certain she would break down and admit she fought him only because she loved him, that this was all part of the game.

Slowly Megan re-opened her eyes. Ragged, pushed past endurance, no lies came to her head. Only the truth was still there. It slipped out of her.

"Because... you're... insane."

Smacked in the face by her words, Erik bolted upright. Every taunt, every cruel word that had ever been thrown at him, he'd endured in silence. The rest of the world could go to hell as long as he knew one person loved him. He'd known when he'd first met Megan that she was the one, and now she'd betrayed him like all the rest. He'd given her his heart to her, only to have it ripped out once. He'd gone to all this trouble to give her a second chance, and she spit in his face! He looked down at her for long moments before he finally spoke.

"Well, this inmate is in control." The smile on his lips never got near his eyes. "So, babe, enjoy your stay. It may be shorter than I'd planned."

Climbing off the bed, he stared down at Megan. He could see the longing in her eyes as she stared at the door just beyond her reach. This constant struggle of hers to leave was getting on his nerves.

"You know what, maybe you're right," he mused out loud. "Maybe I should just get over you. He reached down and kissed her hard, grazing her lips with his teeth. Lapping his tongue over his mouth, he let his finger touch what he tasted. "Fortunately for you, I don't want to, not yet. But the future is an uncertain thing, isn't it, babe? I know I never dreamed of how much you could hurt me until that night. I wonder just how much I can hurt you?"

Erik left the room, Megan curled up like a ball of jelly shaking on the bed.