If Only She'd Loved Him

Chapter 46

Saturday 12:45 pm

Megan slowed the kiss down on purpose, backing away from Erik's hands.

"What is it now?" he sighed.  His voice was gentle since he was still concerned about what he'd told her before.  He smiled at her though she pouted back.

"You promised I could send that letter today.  Won't the post office be closed soon?"

"Probably," he shrugged, "but that doesn't matter.  Since it's so important to you, I'll deliver it myself."

"You'd do that for me?" she asked in amazement.

"And for me," he laughed.  "Just because I've had a few glasses of champagne doesn't mean I'm about to send a letter postmarked showing where we are.  I'm sure you forgot about that detail when you asked this little favor," he added sarcastically.  His fingers ruffled through her hair.  "However, I agree it's a good idea to let someone know you're okay.  About now they're probably starting to worry about you, regardless of that dumb game you used to play."

Megan said nothing.  Her nails dug little half moons into her palms, but she kept her tongue still.

"Admit it, babe.  I outwitted you, and I always will.  I'm not even mad at you because that attempt was so transparent, it bordered on pathetic."  The smile on his lips was thin and mean.

"Erik," she protested,  "I never even thought of a postmark."

"Drop it.  I don't mind if you still harbor illusions of leaving me.  I do care if you treat me like a fool."  He got up off the couch.  "You made me happy.  You got your letter. Don't make me regret that decision." 

Megan huddled into the couch trying to make herself as small as possible.  His words scared her.  He transformed from lover to lunatic in minutes.  The unpredictability was terrifying. Erik walked over to a desk in the corner of the room.  Returning to the sofa, he sat down next to Megan, placing a pen and some paper near their glasses.

"Now, what shall we write?" He paused, licking the top of the pen.  "Hmm," his eyes grew dark. "How about this: Jean, I couldn't take it, and decided to end it all."

Megan went stark white.  Her body shrank against the couch wishing against all hope that she could disappear inside its cushions, and be safe from him and his sadistic sense of humor.  Laughing at how pale she turned, Erik picked up her wrist, fingers pressing at the beating vein.  "Oh wait," he mocked.  "You still have a pulse, though it's pretty fast right now." 

Furious, she shook her hand away.  "That's not funny!"

"Oh, I don't know, babe.  It made me laugh." 

She spun her head away from him.  Using the tip of the pen, he pushed against her chin till she faced him again.  Her eyes were wet.  They shone in the light.  Muscles worked against her cheeks.  Her breathing was fast and shallow. He didn't see deceit in her face, only fear, fear of him.  Had he misjudged her?  Again, just looking at the hurt in her eyes made him want to break down and beg forgiveness.  He took her hands.  Sweat poured through her hands into his.

"Oh, sweetheart, I'm sorry," he cried.  "I thought you were trying to trick me.  You didn't even think of the postmark, did you?" 

Megan shook her head.  Tears slipped through her lashes, though she fought to keep them back.  "No, no, I didn't," she said.  She wasn't lying.  Her plan was more advanced than that.

"I'm too suspicious," he continued sadly.  "I just get so crazy at the thought of losing you."

"I know," she laid her hand on his shoulder, "but I just want to tell Jean I'm okay, and that's all I want to do."