The Nation's Outcry

Chapter 29

Chapter 29: Call me
Zanashi

"Feeling better now?" he asked while touching my jaw with his thumb in a gentle and addicting way.

He's been doing this for a while now. Nakasandal pa rin ako sa puno at nakatayo pa rin siya sa harap ko. Ang kabilang kamay niya'y nakalapat sa tagiliran ko. The way he was caressing my jaw, the way he was gently pressing my waist and the way he looked at me right now seems like he didn't see me for years.

Namula ako at tumikhim. I couldn't talk given the fact that I actually poured out all my emotions at him awhile ago. Kanina lang, wala nang paglalagyan ang galit ko. Ngayon, pinalitan na ito ng kakaibang hiya. I feel like I was a kid earlier who was throwing tantrums just to get someone's attention.

"Kasalanan ko na pala ngayong umasa sa mga kilos na ipinapakita mo at sa mga salitang ipinaparinig mo sa akin? Kasalanan ko, gano'n ba iyon, ha?"

Oh, shit. Napanguso ako at halos mapadausdos pababa nang manginig ang tuhod ko dahil sa kahihiyang kumakain sa sarili ko. I sounded like a desperate creature. I was complaining about how he trampled my dignity as a woman but it looked like I was the one who did all the stomping. Naramdaman niya ang bahagya kong pagbaba kaya halos yakapin niya ako mapirmi lamang sa kinatatayuan ko.

"Are you tired?" marahan niyang tanong.

I could feel his stares at me so I tilted my head away from him. Tumingin ako sa duyan na nasa tabi lang ng punong sinasandalan namin bago ako umiling. Kinagat ko ang labi ko at bahagyang napapikit dahil talagang nahihiya ako!

Ano kayang iniisip niya ngayon? Pinagtatawanan kaya niya ako? Iniisip niya kayang napaka-sensitive at emotional kong tao?

"Are you feeling embarassed, Sayyana?"

Kinailangan ko pang ikuyom ang kamao ko para masigurong hindi ako mauutal ngayon sa harap niya.

"Hindi no!"

He did not answer so I looked at him. His eyebrow is now raised as if questioning the solidity of my answer.

"Well.. sort of," amin ko, namumula dahil mukhang sobrang halata na ngayon ang pagkapahiya ko. Hindi ko makayanang balikan ang mga sinabi ko kanina. Ang labas tuloy ay para akong selosang girlfriend. Wala namang kami.

"You don't need to be shy. It's actually great that you said all those things. Atleast I'm not groping at the dark anymore."

"Yeah because you're so insensitive," irap ko, sandaling nakalimutan ang hiya.

"I got to agree with you on this note."

Napanguso ako at muling napairap. Now that he's accepting his fault, my confidence level is rocketing now. I mean, totoo naman! He was so insensitive!

"Hindi mo sinabing gusto mo ako at hindi ko alam kung anong meron tayo. So.. I didn't know where to place myself."

"Yeah, I guess that's my mistake as well. I thought you probably got my message by kissing you on that lake."

"The truth is I really assumed that you like me. I started to doubt it though when I saw the way you look at Faiqa."

Hinawakan niya ang panga ko at hinuli ang tingin ko. My lips parted because of how his thumb slowly caress my lower lip.

"Bakit? Paano ba ako tumingin sa kanya?"

"It's like you're too serious and too focused and too unwavering and—"

"That's basic, Sayyana. I was trying to observe her face and her action since I was confirming if she's Raygan's ex or not."

"You were always looking for her," banggit ko nang maalala ang pagtatanong niya kay Nurjamin tungkol kay Faiqa.