Rebel Rebel |harry styles| - ongoing

EIGHTEEN

Bob Sinclar & Raffaella Carrà: Far l'Amore

Essie

I grabbed the wine and the glasses and walked through the dark corridor, to a slightly opened terrace door. Harry sat on one of the sectionals, with his guitar, but he wasn't playing anything... he just held it in his lap while he wrote something in one of his journals that he carried around everywhere.

"Hey, am I interrupting?", his eyes met mine and a smile spilled all over his face. "No, not at all, I was just jotting down some music ideas."

"What did you want to talk to me about?", I filled both our glasses halfway with a beautiful red from the Rioja region. If there's anything my Gran taught me – it was where the best wine in Spain is made.

"Well, Molly absolutely loved your work, and so did Helene. I'll be going on tour next April, and my two lovely camera ladies came up with this plan, but only if you're interested, of you coming on tour with us and taking on half of the videography and photography.", I was mid sip when Harry said 'going on tour with us', so I slowly swallowed the remaining wine and took a deep breath.

"It's a world tour, right?", he nodded, "What would I do with Bono?".

"I thought about that, and I took the liberty of asking Becks if she'd be okay with watching him. She said yes.", there was a hint of fear in his eyes, fear that I'd say he was overstepping by going to Becks about Bono, fear that I'd say no.

"I'd have to think about it. I'm inclined to say yes because it's you we are talking about. At the same time, I must do research and figure out if it's the best career move. I don't know anything about concert photography."

"I don't want you to agree solely because of our friendship. It would probably be a good idea to talk to Helene. She wasn't always a tour photographer, y'know.", I knew some of the story of how Harry saw her work and loved it so much he asked her to join his team, but I'd have to speak to her and hear her side of the story before making any decisions.

"I'll call her tomorrow, okay?", Harry nodded, "But thank you."

"For what?"

"For believing in me enough to push me to try out different things with my art."

"Always, Ess.", we finished our wine and he told me crazy tour stories, knowing that was the way to get me excited about the prospect of joining them.

"I'll see you in the morning, right?", I left the empty bottle and the glasses on the table, turning towards the door to my room, but Harry grabbed my hand and pulled me into his chest.

"I am so thankful for you, you know that?", I embraced him a bit stronger, "And I love you very much.". He kissed the top of my head, his lips lingering there for a second longer than necessary. Then he released me and went off to his own room. I stayed there for a bit more, staring at his door.

I loved him too, very much. As a friend because he was always there. Every bad day I'd had in the last eight months, every happy moment, every drunken night... he stood by me through all of it. I loved him as a man, too, because of everything he stood for and the way he treated the world around him with so much kindness. It took a special person to create such a balance with your environment, such a mutual understanding with your world and those that inhabit it. I couldn't tell whether I was in love with him, though. Or maybe I didn't want to.

Harry

Maybe it was a risky thing to say to her, but that didn't make it any less true. I could tell Essie wasn't ready to talk about our feelings... hell, I reckon she still isn't ready to talk to Matt and deal with the remnants of that relationship. I stayed up through most of the night, turning around in the big bed like a shish kebab. I'd gone long enough pushing the thoughts of being in love with Ess to the back of my mind. I couldn't fight it any longer, I had to admit some things to myself at least.