Rebel Rebel |harry styles| - ongoing

TWENTY-FIVE

Crosby, Stills, Nash & Young: Our House

Essie

After saying all I had to say, I felt weirdly liberated. As if someone had lifted a huge weight off my shoulders, and allowed me to be honest with Harry, but also honest with myself. Frankly, I had no idea how I'd managed to keep myself in that sad, lonely box for as long as I had. Now we slept in the same bed every night. We cuddled each morning until one of us, usually Harry, decided it was time to start the day. He worked out and I watched the morning news. He made breakfast and I cleaned up. We filmed three more music videos for Fine Line, and the first one went live yesterday. The fans' response was unbelievable... they were loving it so much.

"Hey, I was thinking... Ramona texted me this morning and I didn't tell her anything, but I wanted to know if we were telling people?", his question caught me by surprise, since I hadn't really thought about that possibility.

"I'd like it if we kept it to ourselves for a little while longer. Everyone has their own shit now, plus I enjoy that it's just us two that know about it. It makes this feel more protected and ours.", my intention wasn't to come off as if I were embarrassed by our relationship. Far from it, it was simply a thing between us currently, and the thought of other people knowing and being able to judge it and voice their opinions, positive or negative, made me even more protective of what we had.

"Okay, but you do know we'll eventually have to let them know?"

"I know. And eventually we will.", I stood between his legs, as he sat on one of the bar stools at the kitchen island. It always made me feel slightly bigger than him when he was seated. I could play with his hair without having to reach sky high to do it, which was nice.

"Do you miss them?", he asked.

"So much. I think I miss Bono the most because I can't interact with him through a video-call. That poor boomer hasn't grasped the concept of video calls. But I miss Becks and Ramona and Pierce too, I even miss my dad if you can believe it. I'm worried about Gran, since Spain is a mess... I just cannot believe this is happening, and that it's been happening for months now. How crazy is this world?"

"It's not unusual to feel this way. Humans are creatures of habit; we are used to all the luxuries of life. And now, everything has been taken away from us and other humans have become the invisible enemy because any one of us could be a carrier without knowing it. That's what pains me the most – that people are now afraid of other people. There are no more casual hugs, excited kisses, the freedom to dance until two in the morning with a bunch of strangers in a karaoke bar... all gone.", Harry began this pandemic journey very low on the happiness ladder. It had a huge impact on his daily life, but it also put a halt on his career. It wasn't financial gain he was worried about, rather the fact that he wouldn't be able to interact with his fans and perform... it really was what he loved most in this world. I was happy to notice a shift in his mood, more positivity in the things he was saying and a general willingness to adapt to this chaos.

"Thankfully, I know that you aren't a carrier since you've been with me this whole time, so I get to excitedly kiss you all day long.", in an instant, the pandemic talk turned into flirting, and a flock of butterflies suddenly started dancing around my stomach. He woke something up inside me that I hadn't felt in a while.

"Jeff just texted to say he was coming over with some good news. I don't know what it could be, but, honestly, I'll take any bit of good news I can get at this point."

"Let me know when he gets here, I have to go call my mother.", I rolled my eyes, even though my mom really wasn't that bad.

"Good luck!", Harry called out from the kitchen, but I was already upstairs, in our room. Wow, our room. Felt weird thinking it.