Gamble For Love

Chapter 38: Supernova

Chapter thirty-eight: Supernova (Ellie's POV)

My mom left me room to tell dad the final verdict if you will. I can't believe it. She really did that. 

"No. That's now what I'm asking. Do you want to go, Ellie?" she repeated. 

"No." I sighed, "No, I don't." 

She nodded slowly before thinking for a moment. "Then we're not going, case closed," she shrugged before leaving. 

I turned to Zach, not knowing how to show all the relied that gushed through my body at the sound of her words. "Did she just-" I stuttered. 

"You're not leaving," he laughed. 

"I'm not leaving," I mumbled. 

Over the course of the day, we both were spending every moment preparing ourselves to say goodbye just in case we had to. I could not imagine leaving this place. This house, this city, this town. 

I'm not a New Yorker, nor can I ever be. I'm one hundred percent a California girl. Skin and bones and I wouldn't want it to be any different. 

But most importantly, I can't imagine leaving my friends. I can't imagine leaving Zach. I can't imagine leaving the boy I loved. 

I loved him. And it took a scare like that to realize how much. 

I thought I was beginning to fall in love with him. That I had all the time in the world to realize it and fall deeper slowly. But I didn't. If I had to leave, what would I do? 

Would I tell him? 

I snapped out of my thoughts when his lips crashed on mine. I kissed him back almost instantly like I could breathe again. 

My heart was pounding. Like a supernova had resided in it. The relief that I felt, knowing I wouldn't have to let him go... 

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

Well now really, when we go back into falling in love. And say it's crazy. Falling. 

You see? 

We don't say 'rising into love.' There is in it, the idea of the fall. 

And it goes back, as a matter of fact, to extremely fundamental things. That there is always a curious tie at some point. Between the fall and the creation. 

Taking this ghastly risk is the condition of there being life. 

You see, for all life is an act of faith and an act of gamble. The moment you take a step, you do so on an act of faith, because you don't really know that the floor is not going to give under your feet. 

The moment you take a journey, what an act of faith. The moment you enter into any kind of human undertaking in relationship, what an act of faith. See, you've given yourself up. 

But this is the most powerful thing that can be done: Surrender. 

See. And love is an act of surrender to another person. Total abandonment. 

I give myself to you. Take me. Do anything you like with me. 

See. So, that's quite mad, because you see, it's letting things get out of control. All sensible people keep things in control. 

Watch it, watch it, watch it. Security? Vigilance? Watch it. Police? Watch it. Guards? Watch it. Who's going to watch the guards? 

So... actually, therefore, the course of wisdom, what is really sensible, is to let go, is to commit oneself, to give oneself up, and that's quite mad. 

So we come to the strange conclusion, that in madness lies sanity. 

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

"Ellie?" he asked after pulling away. 

"Yeah?" I questioned breathlessly. 

"I love you." 

A grin stretched across my face, my heart pounding against my ribcage, threatening to explode. 

"I love you too."

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Chapter thirty-eight

I made this one short because I wanted this chapter to be ONLY about love. That speech is from Alan Watts who was a writer. 

I've decided to finish this book at forty chapters. This book didn't have so much drama or love for that matter. It just focused more on their banter and getting back to each other and getting rid of the hate and all about forgiving. 

I WILL write an epilogue, for once which will be the 40th or the 41st chapter, I'm not too sure yet. 

I do wish that I wrote a little more about the whole falling in love because I did kind of just say... OOP, I'M IN LOVE.

But I think that's fine, I sort of wanted this book to focus around falling in love with the same person again.

And they did so... no complaints. no regrets.

Go out and fall in love. While the world is still pure enough for it.