Making A Deal With the Mafia | (Hades Duet #1)

17. 1,135 miles

Esmeralda ♡

It was stupid of me to think I could fall asleep with the thought of Leonardo roaming inside my brain. The slightest chance of him knowing where I am, consumed me. No matter how hard I try, the thought wasn't budging. It just stayed there, living in my mind rent-free.

I shouldn't have taken Amelia's warning so lightly. It was a dumb move on my part. Just thinking of our paths crossing again was something I wasn't prepared for. Yet, I never wanted it to happen. By no means, did I want to see those primary blue eyes ever again.

The lips I use to kiss a million times or the way his eyebrows furrowed together when he was angry. His strong jawline that I use to attack with kisses whenever we made love. I never wanted to see any of it ever again.

I know coming face to face with him would manifest the bad memories, because those seemed to outweigh the few good ones I had stored somewhere in my brain.

The harsh memory of how he use to throw me on the ground with his arm pinned against my neck, making me beg for air. The way he would look at me in disgust and I felt insecure that I was no longer as attractive as I use to be. It was him screaming and calling me dirty names because he thought he had the right.

Let's not forget that one time he grabbed my throat, imprinting his hand mark like he was trying to brand me. The way he use to hit me and would never stop because I was his own personal punching bag when he got upset. The endless amount of torture I faced just to be with him because I thought love would conquer it all.

There were small bits of hope I grasped on to for so long until my shell finally cracked. The moment I almost died in the hands of a monster. A real monster. If I allowed my memory to, I could replay the vivid scene in front of me like a movie.

Hearing my merciful screams, begging him to let me go, to get off of me. My lungs were pleading for one huge gasp of air to inhale. I remember thinking how I was going to die before I even began to live.

I blame love for keeping me there. Love gave me false hope that a monster could somehow turn into a man. I was a hopeless romantic girl who thought that I could turn the bad guy into something good. Pretty cliché huh.

Then I left.

I left everything. My family, my friends, my past. Everything was forgotten and I started over.

I lived my life in sadness, in guilt that I gave up, in shame that I was terrified of a man who had power over me. But I let it get to that point.

Until one day, I woke up and told myself enough was enough. The old me died. The sweet innocent girl that saw the good in people, died. The one who wouldn't dare hold a gun or go near one, suddenly knew how to shoot like a terrorist. The girl who loved reading romance novels, stopped because happy endings only existed in fantasies. My life wasn't a fairytale, it was a horror movie.

And now the man I was once loved is missing, searching for a woman that's no longer available. Seeking an older version of me that disappeared years ago.

I tilt my head up and stare at Damien in the darkness of the room. I can't see much but I admire what I can. I lift my hand, placing my palm on his warm cheeks, caressing it slowly. The man I called a monster was nothing compared to Leonardo. Leo was the one who beat me in order to get his way.

Damien has every right to treat me less than a wife because of our arrangement and yet he treats me with more respect than Leo ever did in our 5 years of being together.

I lay in bed wide awake till about five in the morning. The memories circling my mind are still keeping me awake. I know I shouldn't do this because it could make or break me, but I think it's time to seek the answer to Leo's whereabouts.