Some Siriusly Obvious (or not) Harry Potter Headcanons

Jily Oneshot: When Hell Freezes Over

Out of all the pranks that could have gone wrong, it just had to be the one humiliating enough to strip James Potter of the popular reputation he had built over the past seven years. Not that he cared about that reputation anyway. He only cared about not destroying the fragile friendship with Lily Evans that he'd been carefully building over the past two and a half months. He was playing a game of Jenga: one wrong move and a whole tsunami of wooden blocks would ruthlessly come crashing down on his head. But right now, he was more concerned about finding the counter jinx to the Farting Jinx that had been placed on him.

"Hey, Potter! How many beans did you eat for dinner last night, eh?"

"Not nearly as many as you, Lestrange. We all know you can't go more than two seconds without cutting the cheese! I almost feel bad for your dorm mates!" James hollers back at Rodolphus Lestrange hoping to cover up the sound of his latest fart. Unfortunately for him, he wasn't able to cover up the echoing sound, so he spins on his heel and marches off to the hospital wing while ignoring the snickers of the nearby Hufflepuff third years.

"My my my, Potter," clucks Madam Promfrey. "Back here so soon? What happened this time?"

"Farting Jinx," he mumbles through clenched teeth. Madam Promfrey chuckles before muttering the counter jinx.

"Off you go now, Potter. I bet you want to start planning a new prank now," she smirks.

Ignoring the last part of her comment, James hurries off with a muttered "Thanks" and pulls out the Marauders Map to find Peter. After all, Peter was the one who signaled all of them to jinx all the Slytherins. He just didn't realize that their jinxes would hit the mirror behind the Slytherins and hit James.

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"Oi! Wormtail! How in the name of Merlin did you manage to misfire a simple jinx on the Slytherins?" bellows an angry Sirius Black while he slams the dormitory door shut and throws his arms in the air. "The Slytherins!"

"Give it a rest, Padfoot!" sighs Remus Lupin, feeling very exasperated.

"But it was the Slyther-" whines Sirius.

"Pads, he's got a point. Peter didn't have bad intentions. Anyway, now we have time to create a better prank. You've gotta admit Farting Jinxes are kind of lame compared to what we've done in the past." interjects James, looking up from Quidditch Through the Ages and pushes his glasses up on the bridge of his nose.

"You sound like Dad." Sirius grumbles in defeat as he yanks off his leather jacket and unceremoniously throws it onto the floor and collapses on his bed. "Where's Frank?"

"Think he went to go snog Alice in some empty classroom," answers Peter. "I hope they get caught. The pair of them look like two thrashing eels when they're with each other."

"Wait, isn't Lily patrolling tonight?" Remus questions. "I bet she wouldn't want to see Alice shagging her boyfriend."

"Speaking of Evans, how're things going with her, Prongs? Has she professed her undying love for you yet?" Sirius teases. "You've been friends for like what, a couple months? She should be falling for you right about now."

James sighs and ruffles his hair. He stopped messing up his hair to show off and started doing it when he was stressed.

"I don't want to ruin anything," he slams his book shut. She's finally warming up to me and if I ask her out, she'll probably send a Bat-Bogey Hex at me! And Marlene and Dorcas start laughing like mad every time I walk into a room! What the hell does that even mean? Why are girls so damn confusing?" James runs his hand through his hair again in agitation.