Sirius and Lily in my eyes always had a great relationship, even before James and Lily started dating. But the one thing they fought about was makeup. Sometimes Lily would steal Sirius's eyeliner and he would steal her concealer or blush or something and they would end up shouting at each other's faces until James and/or Remus broke up the fight. (Most of the time James stopped the fight, because he knew what Lily would do to Sirius if she got mad enough. Remus would just watch because he thought Sirius was cute when he was angry.) Their fights went a little bit like this:
Sirius: OI! LILY! WHERE'S MY EYELINER?
Lily: WHERE THE FUCK IS MY DAMN CONCEALER, BLACK?
Sirius: I'M NOT GIVING YOU THE CONCEALER BACK UNTIL YOU GIVE ME MY EYELINER!
Lily: NOT A CHANCE, YOU GIT! YOU STOLE MY MAKEUP FIRST, SO YOU SHOULD GIVE IT BACK FIRST!
Sirius: DO YOU REALLY NEED YOUR STUPID MAKEUP RIGHT NOW?
Lily: DO YOU REALLY WANT ME TO HEX YOU RIGHT NOW? QUIT BEING SUCH A BABY AND FORK OVER THE FUCKING CONCEALER!
Sirius: OH, I'M THE BABY SHE SAYS! YOU CAN'T WALK BY A UNICORN WITHOUT BAWLING YOUR EYES OUT BECAUSE YOU SAY THAT IT'S GOING TO DIE ONE DAY! OF COURSE IT'S GOING TO DIE, YOU NITWIT! EVERYTHING DIES!
Lily: THAT WAS ONE TIME! AND I WAS ON MY PERIOD, SO YOU DON'T GET TO SAY THAT, OKAY?
Remus: *eating a sandwich* She's got a point, Padfoot.
AND IF YOU WANT TO SEE DEATH, I CAN GIVE YOU AN EARLY DEATH! OR, I COULD MAKE SURE YOUR PRECIOUS EYELINER GETS AN EARLY DEATH! NOW GIVE ME MY CONCEALER, BLACK!
Sirius: NOT UNTIL YOU GIVE ME MY EYELINER, EVANS!
Lily: THAT'S POTTER TO YOU! *jabs wand in Sirius's face so she can hex him*
James: *runs in holding Sirius's eyeliner and steps between Lily and Sirius* Calm the fuck down! Both of you! And Lily's right you kno-
Sirius: *throws hands in the air* OH OF COURSE YOU PICK YOUR WIFE'S SIDE, PRONGS! I'M STARTING TO THINK YOU LOVE HER MORE THAN YOU LOVE ME!
James: *ignores Sirius* It is Potter, not Evans. *high fives Lily* Now take the damn eyeliner, give my wife her concealer, and sit down and eat your sandwich, because it's getting cold.
Sirius: *hands over concealer* You haven't seen the last of me, Potter.
CITEȘTI
Some Siriusly Obvious (or not) Harry Potter Headcanons
FanfictionWhere I write some thoughts, theories, headcanons, and oneshots all about the Wizarding World. Started 8/13/20 Does include profanity
