Ishq | (complete)

35 | faisla

"Ranjish hi sahi dil hi dukhane ke liye aa
aa phir se mujhe chhor ke jaane ke liye aa"

Inaaya's words mixed with Asher's behavior. Laila's peace got tangled with restlessness again. The guilt somewhere within her reared its ugly head questioning the stillness she had found. In pursuit of a perfect life, she became unfair to herself and Asher. She threw herself in a relationship where there were safety and stability, but she kept her heart locked. She wasn't being honest with herself and him. This wasn't okay. She built a relationship over delusions. A delusion that she moved on, but she was still standing there in that makeup room with the letter in her hand.

Where did I lose myself in all this? Where is Laila who stood up for herself? Since when and why did I end up chasing what society expected out of me?

Laila curled her hand around her dupatta, inhaling the air deeply.

Where are you?

She missed him, more than a lover, she missed him as her companion. Someone she could call three in the morning and he would answer. He didn't tell her what to do, but he'd help her untangle the thoughts. He would remind her she was Laila. Sirf Laila. He'd remind her to be the woman she always meant to be. He'd remind her to not fall into the trap of society and the norms of this trap.

Why couldn't you love me with all your heart?

People didn't heart the ones they loved.

All I asked was for your heart and you gave me everything but that.

People didn't abandon the ones they loved.

Hamesha saath rehne ka wada aur apni saansein mujh per qarz chor kar, aap ne bhi mujhe chor diya. Aese qarz ka mein kiya karoon ke jo mere pas nahi.

Laila closed her eyes. There were no tears to shed or no more sleep lost on him, but the wound was there. It hurt. The unsaid and unaddressed ache, he abandoned her too. He abandoned her without a backward glance. without a text. without a call. He abandoned her.

She'd never forget that.

Asher
I'm sorry about the evening.
you deserved better than that!
Especially on your day. Can we
talk it out?

Unfair.
You're being unfair to him.

The words echoed around her room swirling in the sticky night of summer. Laila was never the chaos of confusion. She was a woman of clear and concise sentiments and words. But now she found herself trapped and knotted between the threads of emotions. Between her past and present. Choose your happiness. At the very least, she deserved that after all the hell life put through it. She couldn't lose one chance she had at the relationship she wanted. But do you really want this? She did. She only wanted peace, stability, and someone to be in her life. They were an arm's length away, but she was risking them all at the hand of her emotions.

Don't lose everything again.

Don't stop yourself because someone else couldn't love you. Don't do this to Asher what 'he' did to you

"Laila!" The sigh of relief crossed the lines reaching her.

"I'm sorry! I shouldn't have left like that." Laila sat at the edge of her bed. Her feet ached, carrying the tiredness of office day. She slipped off the heels, pressing the sole of her feet.