Honey | HS

【19】

Celeste

I didn't know what to say back. I didn't really know my true feelings. I felt like I have been falling more and more with every minute I spend with him. It's more or less, I didn't want to admit them.

But I just couldn't say it back. Because the last time I loved someone so greatly and let them in, I was stabbed in the back and left to be by myself. To be drowned with every laugh, every smile, every memory, and every "I love you".

I know Harry wouldn't hurt me intentionally. But I can't help but keep my guard up. Because not that I was blaming him for his actions, he wasn't a hundred percent capable to love another when he wasn't sure about himself.

You cant love someone if you truly cant love yourself.

The car ride back to his house was silent. I wanted him to tell me what happened with his dad but I knew it wasn't the best time to bring it up.

The rest of the night, I laid in my bed and barely slept two hours before deciding I was only going to be staying there a few more days and staying up the rest of the night.

I didn't want to stay there any longer than I needed to. I wanted to be home in my own apartment.

"You're coming back for your birthday right?" my mom asks as she folds some clothes on the couch.
Getting up, I decided I was gonna go to the mall with Caleb.

"I don't know mom" I said as I made my way towards the door. Looking towards the stairs, I shouted "I'll be in the car Cal!" I made my way out the door and into my mom's old Nissan which really was then passed onto my brother.

The time I sat in the car, I did a lot of thinking. There was just so much to learn about Harrys past, so much I wanted to know. But I already knew he went through major turmoil.

His dad was a monster.
Did his mom get abused or she stood there and did nothing?

My thoughts are interrupted as Caleb gets into the car, starting the old thing up.

We headed towards the mall as he stirred up a conversation asking if it was serious between me and Harry. I was certain that I wanted something with him.

And this time I really think I'd like to be in a relationship with him. It felt like a dream to actually sit there and be happy. It hasn't been a year, but time doesn't really do us justice.

So I simply just gave him a short 'We don't know' answer.

I found myself glancing at my phone often as me and my brother went from store to store.

By the end of the shopping trip, I was anxious. He was suppose to text me today and he hasn't yet. It was almost 3 P.M.

I set my bags on the bed and I head down to the kitchen where Emma was sat at the table. "How was the mall?" she asks as she taps away at her phone. "It was alright, I got some clothes and a pair of shoes" I say as I grab a glass from the cupboard.

Glancing at my phone yet again, there was nothing from Harry. It's then that I decided I was going to head over to his house and check up on him.

After a hour, I arrive at his house and made my way up the sidewalk to his porch. Knocking on the door, I felt nervous for some reason.

Waiting for someone to open it, I was met by his sister. Her eyes trailed down my body and back up. Realization kicks in and her eyebrows raise.

"You must be......my brothers girlfriend" she says and steps aside to let me in.

We then stood awkwardly in the foyer of the house. "Uh friend actually. Where is he?" I ask as I get straight to the point and something in the look she gives me, makes my blood run cold.